


HIM

by Iamjoker



Category: Joker (2019), Taxi Driver (1976)
Genre: Drama & Romance, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mind Games, Obsession, Partners in Crime, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23039488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamjoker/pseuds/Iamjoker
Summary: Travis's obsession with Arthur takes dangerous turn and he won't stop unless he has Arthur for ever.(currently pending/will continue soon- updated on 23/10/2020)
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/Travis Bickle
Comments: 28
Kudos: 168





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone. Joker 2019 has enticed me on so many levels and I couldn't keep myself from writing a fanfiction about it. Romance interests me so writing with Travis as Arthur's partner was much challenging.  
> P.S: This is my first fanfiction and I hope I surprise my readers with something new on arthur/travis ship (not forgetting to mention all the works of other amazing writers on same ship inspiring me to write as well). Don't forget to leave a comment. Enjoy! :)

Sitting in the parked taxi on the busy road, Travis waited, and he waited anxiously with a frown glued to his face. He was definitely restless, and he was aware of that. His eyes frantically scanned the crowded sidewalk across him looking for any sign, feverishly grinding the skin of the back of his forefinger between his teeth when he found nothing. It was nearly an hour over. He swallowed hard.

Something is wrong, he dreaded and his stomach churned with the realization. Something is very wrong.

His breathing started out in loud ragged breaths and his heart begin thumping heavily in his chest, he could literally feel the deafening sound in his ears. He gripped the steering wheel briskly with his bloodless knuckles, his head slumped to his chest, jaw tightened.

  
Calm down, there's nothing to panic. You're just overthinking, he reassured himself.

  
But what if he wasn't? What if his worst anticipated nightmare has come true?

  
Travis nearly on the verge of giving up and driving off looked up, defeated. His eyes caught what he could never imagine in the moment was real or his mind played tricks owing to his desperation. But no, it was very real.  
Travis felt he probably stopped breathing. He teared up and smiled to himself, finally at peace.

  
There, opposite to where he parked on the sidewalk walked a clown amidst the dull. His bright colors stood up easily. He walked a little passed the people and stopped where an old street pianist was playing a classic melody Travis has long forgotten. He greeted the pianist with the nod of his head with a brightest painted smile Travis had ever seen. The pianist smiled back and nodded in approval, turned around and started playing a new melody. The clown set his clutch on the pavement and tucked out the yellow sign board he carried underneath his arm that read 'Everything should go'. He started dancing to the tune.  
Travis sat in the car, mesmerized. The clown impeccably spun the sign and carried on dancing gracefully. Travis couldn't look away. Still Watching, Travis leaned back in the seat.

  
He's here, his mind was screaming.

  
Slowly, Travis reached for his crotch and pressed down hard. He knew the fact, he's not going to back out on his only obsession in many years, he never had.

A sly smile slowly creeped on his lips, his eyes glowing. He lighted a cigarette in swift motion and took a long puff, his face hidden in the dense smoke. He knew what he had to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Travis's obsession wasn't a fresh one, he had been stalking the clown for nearly over a month. He ran a hand through his short hair and gently stroked his lips as he watched the dancing clown, remembering when he saw the interesting creature for the very first time.

It was a rough day and he had been on work without any sleep, coming across all kinds of people he very much loathed. He drove a rich fat old man with a teenage blonde prostitute who fucked like animals in the backseat. The man had told Travis to keep on with the driving without peeking. Travis could still hear the moans and grunts and he felt like puking. Travis wished to get over with it soon and rush home as soon as possible as he badly yearned for a day off. To his luck, the man asked him to pull over at the side of the same road Travis parked now. He stepped out with the girl at his side and leaned in through the passenger seat.

"You've been a good boy, my friend." he rasped, grinning ear to ear. He reached in his front pocket and tossed a stack of bills on the seat. "Here, keep the change."  
Travis stuffed the money in his back pocket. He didn't need to count.

"Anytime, sir." he faked a smile and nodded in assurance. The man nodded back and walked off, disappearing in the crowd. Travis let out the sigh of exhaustion and disgust. He was tired of everything. What bothered him the most was the lack of purpose in his life . His life was dull and boring and he could hardly remember the last time he enjoyed something.

Travis raked a hand over his eyes to pull out sleep and begin starting the engine. He was about to pull away when something caught his attention. There was the clown, smiling and dancing brightly. Travis couldn't figure out what happened in the moments but he was awe-struck. His heart felt as if it was about to explode and he started sweating in perfusion. He could feel a tug in his groin and tingling in his crotch. He licked his dry lips absently. There was an instant magnetic attraction that Travis felt he could hardly feel for anyone. But it was different this time.

  
The clown was tall and lanky. He wore a checked suit with a green wig on, his face painted in white. Blue diamonds rested on his big eyes and a bright red painted smile with a black outline on his soft lips. The smile stood out the most of all. There was a vulnerable innocence about it, it was even more striking how raw it occurred to Travis who thought it no longer existed anymore. Questions suddenly started popping up in his foggy brain. He wanted to talk to him, know him, discover the real person beneath the makeup. Travis smiled to himself. Impatience could ruin great things.

Soon, he promised himself. Very soon.

Ever since that fateful day, Travis pulled his car in the same spot after work exactly on the time when the clown arrives. His exhaustion would vanish in thin air on mere sight of him and he would watch him dance as long as he could until the clown collected his things and disappeared as clueless as he came.

Now Travis sat silently, smoking and watching, admiring his every move. He stole a peek at his watch.

It's time, he concluded.

Just as Travis looked up, he saw a gang of street kids approaching the clown. They suddenly yanked away his sign and took off. The clown squeaked in surprise as he was caught off balance.

"Hey!" he yelled and started running after the kids. "Stop!"

He was nearly hit by an oncoming taxi as he crossed the road. The kids disappeared in the alley ahead, the clown after them. Travis watched the whole scene silently, his facial expressions solemn. He stepped out of the taxi and started strodding towards the alley nonchalantly, cigarette dangling between his tight lips. He could hear the kids laughing. Travis took the last puff of smoke and threw the cigarette away as he approached the entrance. He turned the corner and he froze. To his horror, he saw the clown cowered on the ground with the kids brutally kicking him. Dammit!

"Hey, you street rats!" Travis yelled back as his reflexes kicked in, " Take off before I beat you all to a pulp!" he started running towards them.

The kids stopped and turned their heads to the voice, saw him and scrambled away to the opposite end of the alley. They vanished onto the road in seconds. Travis ran pass the fallen clown and stopped. He looked intently making sure they were gone, his jaw tensed. He turned around to face the clown.

The clown was gasping for air, his eyes shut. His hands over his crotch for protection. Travis swallowed hard and leaned over him.

"Hey..." he rested a hand gently on his shaking arm, "you okay, there?"

The clown opened his eyes and hesitantly looked up and Travis couldn't help but hold his breath. The clown had the green-est of eyes travis had ever seen. Confusion sprang over his features morphed with intense pain as he stared quizzically at Travis. Travis mustered up the courage to take the initiative.

I'm Travis..." he started, "Can you stand up?"

The clown didn't react at first, then he nodded and levered himself on his good arm. He grunted, wobbled and fell back to the ground, his eyes flickered shut in utter defeat

"Let me help you. Lean on me, okay? " Travis leaned over and tried grabbing him by the waist, but the clown shuddered in to his contact. Travis took a deep breath and tried again, and pulled him off the ground. This time the clown sheepishly draped his arm around Travis's neck for support and stood up.

"Can you walk? Let's make sure there are no broken ribs..." he touched the clown's abdomen carefully enough not to scare him again. He sensed none when the clown didn't buckle in with pain. " I guess we are good here." he smiled in relief more to himself than to the clown.

The clown nodded in approval and faced him, their faces inches apart. He blinked a few times, probably struggling to clear his vision and look at his savior. He gulped soundly as his eyes came into focus. Travis smiled again.

"Why?" the clown crooked between laboured breaths, "why did you help me...?" It sounded like a question more to himself than meant for Travis as if he had hard time in believing what just happened.

Travis smacked his lips thinking and inhaled deeply, the pleasant smell of grease paint and a faint cologne invaded his nostrils.

"Looked like you needed help, so here I am. You sure you can walk? I'm a taxi driver, I can drop you..."

"No!" the clown exclaimed abruptly startling Travis. He squeezed his eyes shut, embarrassed. "I'm fine. I just need a hot bath, that's it." he let go of Travis and stood on his feet, slightly crouched. He stared Travis in the eyes, his voice gentle this time.

"Thank you... I mean, no one has ever done this for me. I'm grateful."

Travis nodded with a smile, "No problem. What's your name?"

"Carnival..."

"What...?"

The clown giggled to himself, he seemed relaxed now. "I'm sorry, that's my clown name. You see, I'm a party clown." he smiled, "My name is Arthur."

Arthur, Travis thought in triumph. So that's his name...

"It's nice to meet you, Arthur. You work here somewhere?"

"Yes, I do. I work at Ha Ha's. It's a company at the end of the road..." Travis nodded.

"Do you...need something in return?" Arthur started which made Travis frown in confusion, anxious. "I mean, you helped me. You might have done it for something..."

"What makes you think that?"

"Everyone does it when they need something." Arthur answered innocently. Travis sighed in relief.

"No, Arthur. I don't need anything from you..." he lied. Arthur nodded.

"I better go now. They broke my sign. I've to tell it to my boss that I got jumped" distress creeping in his soft voice as he collected the broken wood. He stopped and looked up, his eyes shinning now. Travis could tell Arthur was genuinely grateful.

"Thank you, Travis..." he muttered meekly and turned to walk away.

"Hey, Arthur?"

It caught him of the track, "Um, yes...?" 

"Maybe see you around?" Travis added.

Please say yes!

Arthur gave his brightest smile Travis was already head over heels for.

"Yes..." he turned around and walked out the alley.

Travis's smile suddenly faded as realization took over him.

Damn, those kids! He cussed under his breath.

He paid them to drive Arthur to the alley and hold him there, not batter him?! He was relieved when he found out for himself Arthur wasn't hurt too much, probably just bruised. The situation could have been worse. At least he handled it well, and the plan worked:

The encounter, Arthur seeing Travis as his only knight in the shinning armour, Travis having his name and his workplace...

It worked, Travis pulled put another cigarette. It was time for plan two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like our Travis is not the 'nice guy' as he seems :p Let's see how far he can go after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Travis was good at reading people. He was certain his last encounter with Arthur was enough to influence him, enough for Arthur to befriend him, that's what he intended. He planned to take it slow, natural. The last thing he wished to do was to scare Arthur away.  
He couldn't sleep that night, his mind overwhelmed with thoughts of touching him, looking in those green eyes... He recalled how close their faces had been, the characteristic faint smell caressing his senses. Travis moaned, imagining Arthur melting in his arms. He wanted him and it was getting harder for himself to contain it. But from ahead, he knew he had to be very careful.

Travis drove along the busy road two days after he met Arthur, his eyes desperately looking for him. It was time for Arthur getting finished. His eyes lit up when he spotted him walking amidst the rest. Travis reached closer and pulled up.

"Hey, Arthur?", he yelled.

  
Arthur stopped immediately in his tracks, a surprised look on his face. He looked around nervously and exhaled in relief as he saw Travis. A shy smile crawled his lips. He slided towards him and leaned in through the window. " Hi, Tavis...", he breathed, his eyes sparkling. Travis could easily tell the flush in his cheeks beneath the clown makeup. "What are you doing here...?"

"Just happened to drive around and saw you.", Travis chimed in. "What's up?"

Arthur gave a big smile, "Oh, I just got off work myself. I'm going to see my boss before I go home."

"That's even better. Come on, hop in. Let me drop you."

Arthur's smile suddenly disappeared. He stared back in confusion. "but, Travis... That's just down the road. It's fine..."

He's certainly hesitant, Travis concluded.

"it's alright, Arthur. You don't have to pay." Travis tried to sound as convincing as he possibly could. He smiled, " You can trust me. That's what friends do."

Arthur's eyes widened in surprise, "Friends...?"

"Yeah...come on." Travis moved over to open the passenger door.

Arthur stood still, thinking. Travis has to think of something else.

"Arthur, I'll not make you do something you don't want to do. I'll just leave..."

"Wait!", Arthur almost shrieked. He closed his eyes for a moment, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Travis... It's just that, no one has been this kind to me. It's hard to believe you're real..." he opened his eyes again, they were wet. He smiled weakly, "I'll come."

Travis could feel his heartbeat picking up. He smiled back. Arthur shuffled around and gently slided in the seat. He shut the door and turned to face Travis. "I can't thank you enough..."

Travis was suddenly at the loss of words. Arthur's presence surely affected him. He swallowed hard. "You're most welcome, Arthur..." he babbled.

Arthur smiled. He then tore his stare and started fumbling with his bag. Travis licked his lips absently and started the engine. He pulled away from the curb.

"So, Arthur..." Travis begin, "Do you live alone?"

Arthur looked up through his things casually, "Oh no, I... I don't. I live with my mother. She's my best friend. We love to do stuff together.", he beamed.

Travis nodded silently. He turned to stare back at Arthur, "That's sweet, Arthur. And how's the work? I bet you really like it."

Arthur gasped, astonished. "Oh my, I love it. I love to make people smile, that's what my mother always tell me. She calls me Happy. I plan to become a stand-up comedian, you know like Murray Franklin? I love him. I've been working on my material "

Travis smiled to himself. He liked how Arthur sounded passionate about his dream. He reminded him of a child, so genuine.

"I'm impressed, Arthur. It sounds great. Maybe I'll get to hear your jokes sometime?"

"I'd love that." Arthur giggled, flattered. He then reached for his plastic red nose and put it in his lap. His other hand pulled out his green clown wig. Soft brown locks tumbled out and fell above his shoulders. He ran his hand a few times through the curls and stuffed the accessories in his bag.

Travis stared, unblinking. His jaw agape.

My God, he's beautiful.

"What about you, Travis? Do you have a dream?"

To be with you...

"Uh...I'm not sure exactly." he evaded the thought, "I've been a taxi driver since I came here. I'm an ex marine. I certainly miss it, being pro active. Having something to do..." it was the truth.

'Oh, no wonder you're tough... " Arthur murmured sheepishly, his gaze lowered.

Travis grinned, victorious.

"How about you, Arthur? What are your whereabouts?"

Arthur didn't answer. Travis tore his eyes from the road to steal a glance at him, he stopped. His face contorted with bewilderment.

"Arthur...?"

Arthur sat frozen, gaze down. His body had gone rigid and tense. His eyes abnormally wide opened, staring blankly in space. It looked like he was hardly breathing.

What was that in his eyes? Fear?

"Arthur, are you okay?"

Arthur suddenly blinked. He let out a shaky breath, his chest heaving. Then he closed his eyes shut.

"Arthur, what...?"

Arthur's mouth slowly morphed in a twisted grin, he started laughing first to himself. Then the laughter turned so loud it reverberated.

"Arthur...?"

Arthur's eyes shot open. He kept laughing. His head flew back.

Travis stared, horrified.

Some thing's wrong. He's laughing but his eyes...

Suddenly, Arthur's hands flew around his throat and he started gagging.

"Arthur!" Travis abruptly pulled the brakes and turned to face him. He grabbed Arthur's arm and started caressing his back.

"Arthur, relax! Take a deep breath, everything's fine."

Travis felt better when he saw his touch working. Arthur's body started to soften under it who swallowed roughly and was taking deep ragged breaths, his eyes closed.

"That's it, Arthur... You're doing good."

Arthur opened his eyes and stared weekly at Travis, remorseful. Travis smiled gently. Arthur lowered his gaze, still breathing unevenly but it was better than earlier.

"I'm sorry to scare you, Travis..." he whispered, "I... I've a condition. Doctors' say it's because of some brain injury. I start laughing and I can't stop it. It probably happens when I don't feel good..."

Travis listened to every word Arthur said, yet it was hard for him to take in. Laughter for a medical condition? This certainly wasn't what Travis expected.

"Arthur? Look at me."

Arthur did as he was told.

"Did I say something that made you feel bad?"

Arthur hesitated, he didn't answer.

"I'm sorry, Arthur. It's my fault, I'll make sure to be careful... " Travis promised sincerely.

Arthur lips tightened, he nodded weakly. "I don't know what to say, Travis... But thank you for being this nice to me..." he smiled slowly. Travis stared at him like forever, then he nodded gravely. Arthur fidgeted in his seat anxiously, his eyes roamed on the road, he sighed in relief. "We're already here...I'd better go..."

Travis bit his lips, preoccupied. He didn't know how to react. "Sure, Arthur. You take care of yourself."

"I will, Travis." Arthur started collected his things, he stopped, "Uh... Travis?"

"Yeah?"

Arthur lowered his gaze again, "I'll be performing at pogo's tonight. Would you like to...come?"

Travis started back, surprised. Did Arthur just asked him out? Travis couldn't help but smile on the thought of it.

"I'll be there..."

Arthur eyes were shinning now. "At nine. See you then, Travis..." he smiled and stepped out of the car. Travis saw him walk away and disappear in the building.  
What just happened had still left Travis shaken. He has to think something about it. He pushed the lingering thought in the back of his mind and focused on Arthur's proposal. His heartbeat started to flutter.  
Tonight, at pogo's....  
  



	4. Chapter 4

At exactly 9 pm, Travis stood outside pogo's, smoking his second cigarette. He was dressed in a plain brown suit with lemon yellow shirt underneath, his hair still wet from the shower. He glanced around nervously, checking for any glimpse of Arthur. He was anxious to see him, the real him under the clown make-up...

Travis blushed to himself, his face wearing a subtle smile. He took a long puff of smoke and inhaled deeply, nicotine sensitizing adrenaline into his veins.  
He thought about what he accidentally discovered that day; Arthur's condition. He was curious.  
It happened when Travis popped up the question asking about his past. Arthur said a bad stimuli triggered it...so there's certainly something fishy up about it, and Travis wanted to know.  
Travis recalled his own past skeptically, he knew it wasn't that of a saint's either. It was ominous and bloody, and it had been his choice all along that Travis never had to regret. They had it coming. And as for Arthur's past, Travis was prepared for it.

"Travis...?"

Travis turned absently in the direction of the voice. He stopped breathing.

"Arthur...?!" he croaked.

"Oh my...you came!" Arthur beamed, his eyes sparkling. He leaned forward and threw his arms around Travis in a hug, the familiar smell surrounding him "I thought you wouldn't come! I'm so happy."

Travis went blank. He stared at the man in front of him. With his brown locks slicked back and the clown make-up removed, Travis could study every feature of his face. The delicate forehead, with a fragile nose, creamy cheekbones and soft thin lips. His jaw line, strong and firm. Travis let his gaze wander into his huge emerald green eyes... Arthur's eyes. Travis's heart skipped a beat. He had never seen any other man as beautiful as him. Travis unconsciously scanned Arthur's body. He wore maroon pants and vest with a cream colour shirt. His top buttons were open exposing his strong neck. Travis wanted to kiss it...

"Travis? Are you okay?"

Arthur's voice pulled Travis out of his trance. He was intently staring at Travis, his voice filled with concern. Travis managed to smile.

"Arthur! I'm sorry I could hardly recognize you... You look amazing." it wasn't a lie either.

Arthur's cheeks reddened. He smiled coyly, tugging a lock of hair behind his ear. "Uh... Thank you, Travis. You look handsome too." He impulsively reached for Travis' arm pulling him towards the entrance. "The show is about to start... Let's go."  
Travis stiffly started walking behind him. His gaze sweeped from Arthur's back to his hand around his arm. He could hardly remember anyone so authentically interested in him before selflessly. As much as Travis yearned for him more than ever in that moment, Arthur's child-like demeanor wanting Travis to come with him was no lesser either.  
Travis hallucinated Arthur turning elegantly away from the entrance, yanking him into a dark alley beside it. He quietly walked a little further and came to a halt. He turned around slowly, his face covered in shadows.

"I had been wanting to do this ever since I met you."

Arthur inched forward, his voice barely audible. Travis's heartbeat quickened as Arthur's hands gently slided on both sides of his waist, he pulled travis' body closer to him until their chests caressed lightly, their faces almost touching. Arthur leaned slightly into Travis's neck, smelling him, his hands slowly glided down to his hips. His hair brushed against Travis' chin.

"I know you want me, Travis..."

His hot breath crawling on Travis's skin sending shivers down his spine. Travis let out a shaky breath. As if on cue, Arthur's hands tightened at the resting spot and pulled in travis's pelvis against his own taut errection. Travis moaned loudly. His eyes flickered shut. Arthur rested his face on travis's cheek.

"Say you want me..." he rasped, "I know you want me, but I want you to say it." his one hand slowly creeped up to travis's nape, other holding him in position.  
Travis' throat went dry, breaths came out loud and uneven.  
Arthur's hand reached in Travis's hair and gave it a gentle tug. He slowly moved his face away little enough to look at Travis' face. He tugged the hair again, this time harder.

"Say it...say you want me!"

"I...I want you..."

Arthur's hand instantly seized Travis's throat and with incredible strength he shoved him back first against the wall, knocked the air out of his lungs.  
Travis's eyes shot open, disoriented. Arthur was firmly gripping his wind pipe, his eyes hazy. Before Travis could say anything, Arthur's mouth came crashing down on his in a sizzling hot kiss. Travis kissed back hungrily. Arthur reached for Travis's hands and held it above his head. He deepened his kiss without pulling away, his long tongue exploring every corner of travis's mouth. Travis felt as if he was on the verge of passing out. He tried to break away but Arthur's grip was crazy strong, defying his small physique. Travis started to sink in peaceful blackness...

"Travis?"

"Yes, Arthur...?

"Uh... Here's your ticket. I'll be backstage and wait for my turn. I'll see you later."

Travis blinked back into the present. Arthur was standing over him, handing him the ticket. Travis sheepishly took it and gave a weak smile.Arthur smiled back and disappeared backstage.  
Travis tiredly raked a hand through his hair and let out a deep sigh. He made his way inside and took a seat in far end of the hall. He ordered beer and let the harsh liquid wash down his dry throat, waiting for Arthur to make appearance. Two of the comedians had left the stage and Travis barely listened to any of them. He lighted a cigarette, his mind wandering off thinking about Arthur. He was so different unlike everyone, so innocent and vulnerable. Travis wanted to shield him, protect him from the bad world.

Oh, Arthur...

"So let's welcome our next guest, Arthur fleck!"

  
The hall reverberated with applause as Arthur meekly stepped out and made his way on the stage, his eyes nervously scanning the sea of faces. They lit up as they settled on Travis, he flashed him a big smile. Travis returned it back as Arthur took his place.

"I hate school as a kid. My mother used to say: you should enjoy it, one day you'll have to work for living. I said no maa, I'm gonna be a comedian!" he laughed.

"Boo, loser!"

Arthur froze. Travis looked in the direction of the voice. He spotted a small man in his early thirties near the stage, a mocking grin plastered over his red face as he threw cashews in his mouth.  
Arthur gulped, his jaw was starting to twitch.

"When I told them I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed at me. Well, no one's laughing now..."

"Ha Ha, a comedian? You're already a joke!"

Travis watched in horror as he witnessed what was about to happen. Arthur suddenly went into a fit of laughter, his hands reached around his throat in a choke hold wailing in agony. Travis's heart ached as he watched Arthur crumble.

Hang in there, Arthur...

"What? Just realized what a big joke are you?" the man yelled back, grinning.

Arthur roared with laughter, almost choking. Tears feverishly trickled down his cheeks, his feeble body shaking. He shot a hand over his face trying to muffle it, it didn't work. After a while which felt like forever, it subsided. Arthur exhaled weakly and his eyes met every eye staring back at him. When they met Travis's, they stayed in place. Fresh tears glimmering in them. Travis stared back in pain. Arthur lowered his head in shame, he took off silently and disappeared the way he came.

"Arthur!"

Travis hurried after him as fast as he could. He stopped in his tracks turning around to find the man giggling. He swallowed in rage. Arthur needed him first so he left.  
Arthur had already walked down the front entrance.

"Arthur, wait!"

Arthur didn't stop and Travis had to run after him. He dove for Arthur's arm before he was about to cross the road.

"Arthur, please. Listen---"

Arthur held his ground, he didn't turn around.

"Travis---" he whispered, "Please...leave me alone tonight."

"Arthur...?"

Travis sensed the tension in the moment. Maybe it was for the better to let Arthur go then. Travis reluctantly loosened his grip. Arthur stood still, shaking.

"When will I see you again...?"

Arthur heard the quiver in Travis's voice. He slightly looked over his shoulder. Travis was almost hyperventilating. Arthur closed his eyes in remorse.

"Tomorrow. At the diner where I work. 5 pm."

Arthur turned around and started walking away. Travis watched as he vanished into the darkness.  
He swallowed in relief.

This isn't over. Not now...

Travis was lost in his thoughts when a familiar cackle distracted him. He turned around slowly to see the same short man coming out of the entrance with one arm around a tall blonde woman with him. They giggled as they walked into the dark alley.  
Travis's mind went hazy, his vision blurred. He briskly made his way after them. The shorty was kissing the woman, his one hand caressing her thigh, the other stroking her breast. Travis walked right at them and grabbed the woman by the hair. She let out a startled yelp as he pulled her off the shorty and tossed her away. She hit the wall and fell down.  
The shorty watched the whole thing in shock.

"What the fuck, man! Are you out of you fucking---"

Before he could finish the sentence, Travis's fist came crashing down on the bridge of his nose. He staggered and fell on his back, dizzy. Blood started spurting out of it. The woman screamed.  
Travis reached down and firmly grabbed him by his shirt. The man's eyes started to roll back in his head. Travis mildly slapped him twice in the face to his senses. The shorty stared weakly back at him. He whimpered as he saw the deadly wild look in Travis's eyes.

"What is it you want...? Take whatever you need. But please... Let me go!" he wailed.

Travis balled his hand into another fist and landed it on his jaw. The man cried in agony as the impact made him crash down again. He started sobbing in fear.

"You bastard!"

Travis's one look at the woman was enough to shut her up. He turned back to stare down at the cowering figure in disgust. He ruthlessly kicked the man with all his might in the balls. The man first howled weakly, and then went still. Travis leaned over and grabbed him by the hair, the shorty was unconscious. Travis smacked hard across his bloody face and dropped him. He turned around and walked over to the woman who was leaning against the wall, mascara ran down her face. Her eyes were not leaving travis's. Travis stood over her, staring back. His features contorted.

"Beat it." he rasped.

The woman nodded frantically and wiggled away. Travis stared back at the unmoving man quietly. He closed his eyes and ran a bloody hand across his face, smearing it. He reached down to open his collar button and exhaled deeply as he felt the anger leaving his body, his vision returning back to normal. He raked his good hand through his hair.

Arthur---no one can hurt you now.

  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

It was already five in the evening. Tavis still sat in the taxi parked outside the diner, fidgeting. He was nervous. 

Arthur did agree to meet him the night before but the creeping thought that he might turn him down this time was getting onto his nerves. Travis had been in the control of things often owing to how calculated he was, but now he knew he was at the mercy of Arthur this time. 

Travis took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. He briskly straightened his clothes and made his way though the front door. The diner was packed. He looked around to find Arthur sitting alone by the window. He was already watching Travis, his face unreadable. He probably might have seen him coming through the window. Travis swallowed hard and stumbled timidly across him. 

"Arthur--"

"Hi, Travis."

Travis took a seat across him. Arthur looked tired. He wore a full green sweater with a crisp white shirt underneath, a cigarette dangled in his forefingers. He took a long puff and exhaled the dense smoke, his eyes were downcast.

"How are you feeling, Arthur?"

Arthur took another puff of cigarette, "Not good...I couldn't sleep last night either."

Travis watched his every gesture intently, his chest getting heavy with dread.

Arthur threw the light in the ashtray. He clasped his hands together, his white knuckles intertwining. A big frown appeared on his forehead. His eyes never looked up.

"I'm sorry for leaving you like that, Travis. It was selfish of me...you've been so kind to me all along. I kept thinking about what I did to you last night more than what happened to me. I'm afraid I'll hurt you more if you continue to stay..."

He looked up and Travis shuddered. He felt as if Arthur could look right into his soul, see how filthy it was. Arthur's intense stare was searching for answers for questions he never asked. It was Travis now who had to look away.

"Arthur, you were upset. I understand. You never offended me." He met Arthur's eyes, "I don't mind staying either, I like your company and I intend to keep it that way---"

Arthur's eyes narrowed, he nodded slightly. He leaned back in his seat with his hands in his lap. He stared out the window blankly. "I was afraid you might not turn up today..."

Travis's heartbeat was accelerating. Arthur was completely oblivious to what his presence could do to him. What if he was aware and only pretending not to be? 

"I like being with you too, Travis---" Arthur continued, "but..."

Travis sensed there was something else bothering Arthur, something he couldn't open up about easily. Something Travis could never anticipate from coming.

"What is it, Arthur...?"

Arthur sat motionless for what felt like eternity. He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He rubbed the back of his neck to ease the tension. Travis stared in admiration.

"It's nothing, Travis---" he replied in a weak voice, "I just don't want you to get hurt..." he opened his eyes again, there was something in them Travis couldn't tell.

"Arthur, I told you. You'll never hurt me. And if there's something else you think I should know, you can tell me. I won't judge you, it's a promise."

Arthur stared back in surprise. Travis bit his lips.

Arthur sighed.

"Thankyou, Travis... I'll try."

Travis exhaled in relief. The tension lingered but at least Arthur didn't break up with him for now. Travis tired to make atmosphere light.

"Did you order anything? Damn, I'm starved."

"No, I didn't. I don't feel like eating."

"Let's order coffee then."

Arthur nodded. Travis gestured a young waitress to their table, "Two coffee, please."

The waitress smiled. She stole a glance at Arthur, her smile widened.

"Anything else for you?"

"Oh no, just coffee---" Arthur stammered, smiling back. His smile was genuine. Travis felt a pang of jealousy.

The waitress nodded and walked off gracefully. She returned with two cups and a pot of fresh hot streaming liquid. She was standing close to Arthur while filling his cup more than necessary.

Travis felt the urge to smash her face through the table.

"Let me know if you guys need anything." she straightened up and turned to walk away. She spun around and slightly winked at Arthur. Arthur blushed.

What the---

Travis grabbed his cup and took a gulp.

"Nice girl, isn't she?" he sneered bitterly.

Arthur snickered and shrugged casually. He picked up his cup and gently blew the steam of it. 

"She's just kind, that's all"

Travis tried to read Arthur. " so does that mean you already have a girlfriend?"

Arthur almost dropped his coffee. He settled it down carefully and tossed his head back, laughing. A hand sprang up to cover his eyes. It wasn't the laughter from his fits. He was actually amused. Travis saw Arthur laughing for the first time, his heart skipped a beat.

"Oh God, Travis...! What made you think that---?"

"Why not?" Travis asked innocently, "You're handsome and sweet...anyone could fell for you." he certainly didn't mean just women alone.

Arthur chuckled and wiped the tears from his eyes. 

"You really flatter me, Travis. But no! I'm scared of women. You can never tell what they are thinking."

Good... 

Arthur started pouring some sugar in his cup, "I can tell you're pretty good with them." he added shyly.

Travis's memory of his experience with betsy popped up in his mind. He scratched his head nervously.

"Uh... Not exactly. I liked a girl long time ago. It was a disaster. I took her to a porn movie for our date and she flipped out on me."

"What?!" Arthur almost screamed in amazement. He covered his mouth, giggling. "My God, I can't believe you actually did that..."

"See? I'm an asshole."

Arthur giggled some more and shook his head. Travis was enjoying it.

"No, Travis. You're just not good with people." he was smiling. Travis realized he was smiling too. Being with Arthur was one of the best feelings in the world.

Arthur chewed his lips thoughfully. His emerald eyes met Travis's and they didn't look away. Suddenly, Travis could sense the heat radiating between them. His crotch was begging for it, he shifted uncomfortably. 

They were pulled out of trance when Arthur unconsciously dropped his spoon from his hand. It bounced off the table and clattered on the marble flooring. Travis watched Arthur as he excused himself to reach for it. He leaned over. Something heavy fell on the floor with a loud sound. Travis heard it skidding away from Arthur and hitting his shoe. He reached down to grab it and stopped in midair, his eyes bulged in shock. It was a gun. Travis eyes sprang up to stare at Arthur who had already straightened up without uttering a word, his eyes enlarged in fear.

Travis quickly grabbed the gun and sat back. He looked around to make sure no one was watching them and cautiously handed it to Arthur. Arthur reached for it with a shaky hand and tugged it under his shirt. He sighed in relief and turn to look up in Travis direction.

Travis remembered himself having guns a long time ago and for what purpose he bought them. Does it mean arthur too...? 

"it's not like what you're thinking." Arthur replied casually as if he heard every word in Travis's head. "Randall gave it to me."

"Randall?"

"Yes. He's my co-worker. He said it's for my own protection. Remember the day when I got jumped? He gave it to me so I can scare the thugs away."

Travis felt a pang of guilt. He pushed the thought away.

"Guns are trouble, Arthur. You better return it back when you can."

Arthur nodded in approval, "I was thinking the same. It slipped my mind. It's the first thing I'll do tomorrow when I see him."

Travis nodded back. They had almost finished their coffee. His eyes wandered to the clock on the opposite wall to them. 6:15 pm. The sky was darkening.

"I took a lot of your time today. It's almost sunset. You've something else to do?" 

"Oh no. I'm done for today. I'll just head home straight away. But yes, I need to pick some medications from the pharmacy..."

"Then come with me. I'll drop you home. We'll stop at the pharmacy on the way."

Arthur smiled with whole heart, "You're so kind, Travis."

They paid for their coffee and left the diner together. Travis yanked open the passenger door and Arthur slided in the cab. He walked around to the other side and adjusted himself in the driver's seat. The taxi came to life and he maneuvered it onto the road. He stopped it by Helm's pharmacy for Arthur to pick up his supplies. He came back after 10 minutes.

"Anything else?"

"No, Travis. I've all I need. Thank---"

"Now you've to stop thanking me all the time, Arthur!" Travis rebuked him with a playful tone which made Arthur giggle like a girl.

"Okay, Travis."

"Now where are we headed?"

"Uh... It's by the very first stop of the subway station. Just head straight and turn left when you see it. I'll let you know ahead."

They sat in silence the rest of the way. Travis wondered what was Arthur thinking. He stole a glance at him. Arthur was staring out the front warily, his eyes were heavy lidded with sleep. By the time they reached the station, Arthur had dozed off. His head was resting against the window, his hair covering his face.

Travis reached over and gently pulled them behind his ear. They were soft under his touch. He carefully ran a finger down his cheek, feeling the soft smooth skin. Arthur didn't stir. Travis realized he was a heavy sleeper. He let his hand slowly glide down the side of his neck until he felt his collarbone. He reached up to stroke his jaw but had to pull back immediately as his thumb suddenly brushed against Arthur's lower lip. Arthur shifted a little and ran the tip of his tongue over the spot Travis touched, wetting it. Blood started pumping in Travis's loin.

Not now...

Travis swallowed and reached down to pat Arthur on the hand, "Arthur, we are at the station. Where do you want me to take you now?"

Arthur didn't move. Travis grabbed him by the shoulder and shook him until Arthur grunted and tried to push him away.

"Arthur, you've to tell me the way from here."

Arthur squinted a little to scan the road. He closed his eyes again and shifted in the seat. "Turn left." he murmured. Travis did.

Arthur was sitting straighter now, his eyes on the road, "Now take a right from here."

They came by an old apartment building.

"That's my home."

Travis stopped the taxi. Arthur didn't step out. Instead he turned to look at Travis, his face covered in shadows.

"I had a great time today, Travis. I haven't spent this much time with anyone before. I hope we do it again soon..."

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

"Actually, I am." Arthur rubbed his sleepy eyes, " I visit children's hospital on Mondays in my routine. It often gets late..."

"It's fine. I'll get off my work by then too and we can go grab some ice-cream for a while."

Arthur giggled. "That sounds nice. All right. I'll see you tomorrow, Travis."

Arthur grabbed his supplies and stepped out. He walked towards the building and staggered inside.

Travis smiled to himself. It was definitely turning better than his expectations as it seemed, or was it---?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried with some subtle humour in the chapter before things get dark again, and the waitress scene was worth it lmao!  
> Let me know your thoughts on the story so far. Thanks everyone! :)


	6. Chapter 6

It was nearly dark and Travis was already on his way to the children's hospital when Arthur never returned back to Ha Ha's. Travis was sure Arthur couldn't have possibly left for home because he had to report to his boss before and meet Travis afterwards as he promised, unless he had forgotten about both of it. Travis knew it wasn't true, Arthur wouldn't do that. Something wasn't right.  
Travis speeded up as he drew near his destination. What if he doesn't find Arthur there either? The last place for Travis to look for Arthur was Arthur's home. He didn't want him or his mother to freak out over something so trivial. Maybe he'll give up for tonight and stop by the Ha Ha's to confirm his whereabouts tomorrow. And maybe Travis was just overthinking the situation. But what if he wasn't? What if something did happen to Arthur---  
Arthur couldn't defend himself on his own. He wasn't violent, which is why he needed someone to protect him. Travis recalled the day when Arthur got jumped and winced.

The sky let out a thunderous roar and rain started to fall in downpour. Travis switched on the wipers and squinted through. Before Travis turned around the corner, he spotted a familiar motionless figure sitting on the sidewalk by the telephone booth in green wig and a checked suit...

Arthur!

Travis pressed down the brakes and the car jolted with a screech. He backed up the cab in reverse until he reached where Arthur sat and stopped in front of him. He leaped out and walked over to him. Arthur sat silently with his head over his knees covered by his arms. He was almost drenched.

"Arthur!" Travis yelled though the rain, one hand shielding his eyes for him to look through. Cold rain ruthlessly started to soak his clothes.  
Arthur slightly looked up, his eyes unfocused. His clown make-up was strangely in place.

"Travis---? You're here...?"

"Get in the car, Arthur."

Arthur sighed. His eyes left Travis's and started staring in space. He didn't move. Travis took a deep breath and reached down for him. He grabbed Arthur by the shoulders and hoisted him up. He walked him over to the taxi and carefully lowered him in the seat and got into his. Arthur was shivering, his breaths coming out in short whistles. Travis took off Arthur's wig and placed it in the backseat. He reached for his jacket but Arthur was strongly clutching it, his pale knuckles digging deep into his sleeves.

"Arthur, let me take off your jacket."

Arthur eased his arms and Travis helped him slip out of it. He let it drop in the backseat. For the first time Travis noticed how skinny Arthur actually was as Arthur's clothes clenched over his wet body. Travis quickly shrugged off his jacket and draped it over Arthur who unconsciously snuggled in its warmth and closed his eyes. Travis switched on the heater and leaned in his seat. He turned to look at Arthur.

Arthur's wet hair were plastered over his face, water dripped down it running over the paint, staining the collar of his white shirt in faint hues of blue and red. Travis reached forward and swiped the locks out of his eyes. He clutched the jacket and pulled it tighter around Arthur. Arthur lazily opened his eyes and started watching the downpour absently. Travis started the engine and spun the cab around in the direction he came.

"What happened, Arthur---?"

No response.

"You know you can talk to me about anything..."

Arthur sighed again. His eyes still staring blankly at the road.

"I was fired today."

"What?! Why---?"

"It happened so suddenly. I was dancing and the gun...it fell out."

"Oh, Arthur. Why didn't you tell them the truth?"

A painful sob escaped Arthur's throat. "I couldn't. I tried to but they didn't listen. They called me a liar... I don't know what I'm going to do now. I loved my job---"

Travis wasn't sure what to do. He stared at the shriveled figure beside him, feeling helpless.

"And---" Arthur's voice suddenly dropped down to a deadly whisper, "Randall told them I tried to buy the gun off him few days before..."

"What?! Randall? " Travis cried out unbelievably. "He put it all on you so he could come clean?!"

"How could he do that...?" Arthur wailed miserably. "He said I was his boy. He...he betrayed me."

Arthur turned his head to stare at Travis, tears of pain flooding his blood shot eyes. A huge tear fell out his left eye and ran down his face, smudging the blue diamond. "He betrayed me, Travis..."

Travis grunted in anger. Arthur let out a muffled chuckle. He closed his eyes and started laughing. It didn't sound like one of his laughter fits. Travis realized he was actually crying.

"Shit."

Travis abruptly pulled up by the side of the road. He watched Arthur crying his heart out in pain. Travis didn't realize what he did next. He impulsively reached forward and embraced Arthur in his arms in a strong hug. Arthur didn't pull away and surprisingly leaned furthur into Travis's chest. Travis held his trembling body tightly as Arthur sobbed miserably, his hand gently stroked his hair and back. Arthur's arms came up and hesitantly wrapped themselves around Travis's waist. They held eachother silently. Travis wanted that moment to freeze. He was suddenly overwhelmed with feelings he harbored for Arthur and he knew he couldn't keep it hidden out for long. Arthur had finally stopped crying but he was still holding onto Travis firmly. Travis rested his cheek on Arthur's head.

"Arthur, there's something I need to tell you..."

Arthur didn't answer. Travis knew he was listening.

"I've feelings for you, Arthur. I had it for you ever since I met you. I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. I'll never let anyone touch you. And I'll never betray you."

He waited for him to respond. None.

"Arthur?"

Travis pushed him up gently and was startled to see his face. Arthur's eyes were glazed in shock, he looked horrified. Travis placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Arthur---"

Arthur jolted on Travis's touch. He blinked and closed his eyes. Before Travis could say anything else, Arthur hastily shrugged out of Travis's jacket and pulled open the passenger door. He jumped out and took off in the downpour.

"Arthur, no!"

Arthur was no longer in sight. Travis clenched his fist in agony and started ramming the dashboard until his hand pulsated. He swallowed a sob. He could hardly remember the last time he cried. But now Travis cried the tears of anguish and defeat. Even if Travis revealed his feelings some other time, the outcome would have been similar. Arthur could have never accepted him and he knew that. But he still wanted to see it for himself, witness for the very first time his instinct going wrong but it hadn't.

Travis was at war with himself, his mind processing Arthur's rejection but his heart countering it otherwise. Travis questioned himself; was it always himself alone the whole time in this? Was that all in his head? A false belief that he's winning Arthur over? No, it wasn't. Arthur did feel something for him.

As Arthur left Travis alone in the car, Travis felt his purpose slowly slipping away with him. No, he wouldn't let it go away without fighting for it.  
What was his name? Randall---?  
Travis started the engine and pulled in the gear. He pressed down the accelerator and speeded through the sheets of heavy rain. He was a block away from Ha Ha's and was just in time.

Travis spotted a big fat guy and a midget coming of the building holding umbrellas over theirs heads. They stood by the alley beside it, talking. Travis stopped the taxi by them and jumped out.  
They stopped talking as they saw Travis walking over to them.

"Randall?" Travis looked at the faces of both man who stared back in bewilderment.

"Yeah." the big guy answered.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Travis looked at the midget, "Alone."

"What is it about? Do I know you?"

"You'll find out." Travis smiled.

Randall turned to look down at the midget, "You can go home, Gary. I'll see ya tomorrow."

Gary's eyes moved back and forth between the two men. Finally he nodded in agreement and scurried away.  
Travis walked Randall into the alley. He was almost soaked to the skin.

"You know you need to make it quick---"

Travis turned around and punched him in the stomach as hard as he could. Randall yelped in pain and he reached for the spot to cover it. The umbrella flew out of his hands.  
Travis kicked him in the balls and Randall's huge body buckled up, his eyes bulged out in excruciating pain. Before Travis could make his next move, Randall instantly grabbed Travis's throat in a choke hold.

"You bastard---"

Randall shrieked loudly when Travis's eldow came crashing down on his shoulder blade. He jabbed him in the neck and Randall's grip finally loosened as he staggered back. Travis loomed forward and hit him hard in the jaw twice to keep the giant down. Randall fell on his knees, dizzy. Blood poured out of his mouth and washed in the rain. Travis now easily scooped him up and tossed him over to the dumpster. He toppled over the impact and fell on the ground. Travis ran forward and kicked him in the head and Randall lay motionless on his back, gasping for air.  
Travis still wasn't done. He frantically looked around for any sign of object and his eyes settled on an old baseball bat in the dumpster. He pulled it out. Randall was already struggling to hoist himself up on his elbows when Travis swung the bat and slammed it on his kneecap. Randall screamed in agony.

Travis raised the bat above his head to strike again when he suddenly stopped in midair. On the other side of alley stood a figure in shadows. A bolt of lightning was enough for Travis to catch the glimpse; The white shirt and yellow waistcoat, the brown locks and the clown make-up...  
The bat slipped out of his hands and clattered by his feet as the realization hit him.

Arthur---

He had seen him.

No---

"Arthur!" Travis ran as fast as he could. The figure stood still for a while, then it slowly slided out of sight. Travis reached the other side and looked around, panting. There was no sign of Arthur.


	7. Chapter 7

Travis sat in the diner alone, a pie rested untouched infront of him. He was hardly eating, mostly depending on scraps of candy bars or a cup of coffee he quickly grabbed while working for the past two days. He knew he needed energy to keep going but the thought of consuming anything was nauseating to him. 

With a sigh, Travis digged into the pie and stuffed a fork full into his mouth, the bolus felt hard to swallow down his dry throat. His mind was overwhelmed with haunting reflections of only one thing: Arthur. Travis hadn't seem him for the last two days. He recalled when he confessed his feelings to him, how arthur reacted and when he saw Travis committing the heinous act, witnessing the demon Travis harboured for as long as he could remember.

Travis wasn't certain what he saw that night was really arthur, or his mind played tricks on him. It was dark and raining and he had pretty lost control on himself while beating up Randall he was afraid he could have killed him if he wasn't distracted.

Travis pressed the fork into the flesh of his palm until the skin turned raw red. He squeezed his eyes shut in torment. He only wanted to protect Arthur...and the realization that Arthur didn't accept him was too much to bear. Travis knew he couldn't let go of him now, he wasn't prepared to. 

Travis flashed back to the day when he met Arthur in the diner, when he saw him laughing to his blunders...Travis reluctantly shoved the memory away. The memories which made Travis relish upon once were now tormenting him. Suddenly he felt it was hard for him to breathe, he needed air.

Travis tossed few bills on the table and made his way out the exit, preoccupied. The sky was already dark. Travis inched in the direction of his taxi, rummaging his pockets for the keys. Maybe he should drive off to home and drink himself to sleep, sounded like a plan for now to him. He pulled the keys out and looked up, and stopped in his tracks.

"Arthur?!"

Arthur leaned by his taxi, hands in his pockets. He abruptly straightened up when he saw Travis approaching. He was wearing a brown hoodie with a red sweater underneath.

"Hi, Travis---" he lowered his eyes.

Travis couldn't believe what he was seeing. His heartbeat had already picked up its pace. Arthur came by to see him? Was he hallucinating this too? No---

"Arthur---"

"I wanted to talk to you about something...can you spare a moment?"

Travis stood motionless eyeing Arthur half consciously, his brain struggling to process the present. He gave a slight nod and leaned over to open the passenger door.

"No, not here...Can we just walk a little?"

Travis nodded in agreement and Arthur started walking. Travis followed silently. He didn't know what to expect of Arthur showing up but a hope dimly flickered in his yearning heart, maybe Arthur came by to finally confess his feelings for him too.

They walked for a while in silence until Arthur stopped and moved into a narrow alley. He rested his back against the wall and shoved his shaking hands back into his hoodie pockets. Travis positioned himself in the opposite direction, facing him. He waited for Arthur to start.

Arthur nervously chewed on his lower lip, a frown appeared on his tensed features. He was barely looking at Travis.

"I heard what you did to Randall that day---I want you...to stop doing anything for me."

Travis stared back blankly, "That's it?"

Arthur nodded, still avoiding travis's stare. "Yes, that's all I wanted to ask of you..."

No, Arthur---you didn't.

"Why are you here, Arthur?" 

"What---?" Arthur was caught off-guard. His frown deepened, confusion sprang in his eyes. "I... I just told you..."

"No, Arthur. That's not the only reason why you are here. Why do you want me to stop? I won't if you don't tell me." 

"I..." Arthur was stuttering now, "I just don't want you to get into trouble---"

"Why do you care, Arthur?"

Arthur's lips started quivering. He was shaking now.

"I... I have to go now, Travis."

Before Arthur could leave, Travis firmly grabbed him by his right arm and pulled him back with incredible strength. Arthur collided with the wall back first, his eyes widened in shock. Travis pressed his body against his form to keep him in place, his face dangerously close to Arthur.

"Not today, Arthur. You can't run away from me now. Not like that."

Arthur's breathing quickened. He tried to push him away with his other arm but Travis effortlessly grabbed it and pinned it to his chest. Arthur's eyes started to tear up.

"Please," he begged in a weak voice, "You have to let me go---"

Travis tightened his hold on Arthur's wrists.

"You care, Arthur. You care about me... That's why you are here. If you never did, you shouldn't have been here."

Arthur closed his eyes shut in defeat. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks. Travis inched his face closer until his nose brushed against Arthur's moist cheek. Arthur turned his face away.

"Tell me what you feel for me, Arthur. You have to tell me---"

Arthur was almost hyperventilating.

"I... I can't---"

"Tell me, Arthur!"

"Travis---"

Suddenly, Arthur's head slowly drooped down and fell on Travis's shoulder, his body went limp. Travis impulsively caught him by his shoulders when his legs were about to give up.

"Arthur...?"

Travis lightly tapped Arthur on the cheek twice, he didn't stir.

"Arthur!"

Arthur had fainted. Travis lowered him carefully and propped him up against the wall in a sitting position. He reached for Arthur's cold hand and started rubbing it frantically.

"Arthur, can you hear me?" his voice trembled in panic.

No response.

Was he too hard on him?

Travis had to think fast. He could grab his taxi and take him to Arthur's home. But his mother was there and she would freak out. He doubted she knew about Travis or Arthur ever mentioned him to her. The second option was to take him to his own home for a while he gets him up.

Travis let go of Arthur's hand and hesitantly stood up. He looked around. There were few people on the opposite side of the road. Travis left his spot and jogged to the taxi. He quickly slided in and maneuvered the cab infront of the alley. 

Arthur was slouched in the same place Travis left him, he hadn't moved. Travis jumped out and slipped Arthur's arm around his own neck and hoisted him up by the waist. He carefully lowered him in the backseat. Travis adjusted himself in the driver's seat and drove off the curb.

Travis was by his old apartment within ten minutes. He carried Arthur into the condo and lowered him in the bed. He switched on the bedside table lamp. Arthur's skin looked feverishly pale and sweaty in its shade. Travis was shocked to see how frail and gaunt he appeared. Travis brushed his locks away and cupped his face gently in his both hands.

"Arthur...?"

Nothing.

Travis reached for Arthur's forehead, it was burning up. He needed to cool him off.

"I'll be right back."

Travis left Arthur in the bedroom and walked in the bathroom to grab a clean towel. He marched into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of cool water out of the fridge. He made his way to the bedroom.

Travis nearly dropped the things in fright when he saw the bed was empty.

Arthur stood on the far end of the bedroom against the wall in shadows, his eyes glowing. He titled his head slightly, eyes fixated on Travis.

"Hey, Travis?" he grinned menacingly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried something...enjoy! Hope so everyone is staying safe.

"Arthur... Are you okay?"

Arthur just stood there smiling ear to ear, eyeing Travis from head to toe. There was a sudden shift in the atmosphere around them. Something was different, unsettling.  
After what felt like eternity, arthur left his spot and walked slowly towards Travis, his each step precise and deliberate, unlike Arthur's usual stride which was fidgety and uncertain. His gaze not leaving Travis's face for once, it was strangely intense and piercing.

"What do you think, Travis?" he rasped in monotone, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

Travis gulped anxiously, " I... I think you need rest, Arthur."

Arthur chuckled mockingly. He reached for the back of his neck, slowly rubbing it.

"No, Travis. I need something else."

His hand moved around his throat and he started playing with the smooth skin of his neck. He pursed his lips, pretending to be thinking.

"Why didn't you touch me, Travis?"

"What---?"

"Yes. Touched me? When I was out?"

Travis couldn't understand where it was coming from. The question was out of context but---

"I don't understand what you're talking about, Arthur."

Arthur opened his eyes wide in sarcasm. It was followed by a subtle teasing grin. He shook his head and continued to move in

"You don't understand? I don't think so, Travis."

He was now standing right infront of Travis. Travis started sweating in perfusion. Arthur slowly curled his fingers around the towel in Travis's arm and tossed it away with a swift movement. The hand around his neck moved to his zipper, he started pulling it down slowly exposing his strong clavicle. His intense gaze finally left Travis's face and glided to his lips.

"I know you want me, Travis...I've known you always wanted me."

Travis breathing was escalating. He licked his dry lips unconsciously. Arthur further moved in, steadily closing the distance between them and Travis had to step back to create room until his back met the wall. Arthur closed the gap completely by positioning his body infront of him. Travis felt a tingling sensation in his crotch as blood circulated in his loin.

Arthur looked up again, "I know you want to touch me..."

He reached for Travis's free hand and placed it on his neck, he slowly moved it to his notch. A shaky moan escaped Travis throat as he felt Arthur's jugular pulsing beneath his palm and he closed his eyes in pleasure.

Travis knew arthur wasn't himself at the moment, probably acting up because of the fever. His body was heated up. But Arthur's changed demeanor was incredibly tempting to him. He was more in his skin now.

Arthur moved Travis's hand up his neck to his strong jaw, he grabbed Travis's thumb and rubbed it on his lower lip. He then closed his mouth around it and sucked it gently. Travis felt the abstinence leaving his body but the thought that Arthur just fainted on slight pressure lingered in his mind. He wasn't sure what his sexual advance would do to him. Arthur let go of Travis's thumb. Travis slightly opened his eyes and found Arthur staring at him.

"You're scared..." he whispered, "You're scared you might hurt me. I want you to hurt me, Travis---"

As if on cue, Travis's erection instantly pressed up against his jeans, the bulge caressed Arthur's leg which made him look down. A wide grin appeared on Arthur's face at the sight. He looked up.

"Let's make you at home, shall we?"

Arthur let go of Travis's hand, he ran his fingers on Travis's bulge. Travis squirmed. Arthur chuckled playfully and with a swift movement he pulled down the zipper and stuffed his hand in his underwear, his fingers curled around Travis's shaft firmly. He started rubbing it down slowly. Travis squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his head as pleasure washed over him, his mouth hung open gasping for air. Arthur rubbed the tip with his thumb and his fingers played with the scrotum. Travis moaned loudly.

Arthur pressed his body against Travis's while continuing to rub him, he leaned into Travis's neck and landed a kiss on it. Arthur's mouth moved to Travis's ear and gave it a gently nibble. He ran his tongue on Travis's temple.

"I saw you what you did to Randall that day, Travis..."

Travis eyes popped open on the words. He managed to look at Arthur, it was hard for him to focus. Arthur's eyes were blank and opaque as he stopped to watch Travis's expression. He brought his face closer and kissed Travis's chin.

"You like hurting people, Travis. You would've killed him without regret."

Travis gasped as Arthur dug his nails deep in his sac and gave it a squeeze. His mind was getting fuzzy. Arthur seemed to know a lot about him than he had ever expected, it was strange.

"I liked it---You don't know how much I liked it, Travis."

Travis had always been on an endless struggle to suppress his demons throughout his life, but now Arthur was dissecting them out of him, praising his every sin and it was liberating.

Arthur took the water bottle out of Travis's hands and dropped it down by his shoe. He brought his mouth closer to Travis's, he warm breath caressing Travis's skin.

"Show me how much you want me, Travis. Hurt me. Hurt me, Tra---"

Travis grabbed Arthur by the jaw and his lips came crashing hard on Arthur's mouth. Arthur opened his mouth wide as Travis forced his tongue inside, exploring every corner. Travis hurriedly reached for Arthur's zipper and pulled it open, his hand massaging Arthur's bare stomach. Arthur let out a soft moan through the kiss. Travis grabbed Arthur by the waist and pressed his body in him, hungrily devouring his mouth.  
His weight caused Arthur to stagger back and Arthur's foot suddenly caught the water bottle making him loose his balance. Arthur fell down back first hard on the carpet with Travis atop him.

Travis broke the kiss, startled. Arthur groaned in pain first, then he chuckled in amusement. Travis couldn't resist it any longer, he hurriedly pulled down his jeans and underwear exposing his throbbing erection. Arthur saw Travis's pulsing organ and giggled again, he wiggled out of his pants and Travis pulled down Arthur's underwear jutting out his hard cock. Travis wetted his fingers and placed it on Arthur's arse, massaging the spot. He then parted the opening and slowly dug deep into his body. Arthur squirmed in joy, a dreamy smile appeared on his face, he closed his eyes. Travis pulled out the finger and repeated the action. Arthur slightly arched his back, rubbing his dick against Travis's stomach. Travis leaned down to nibble Arthur's neck and reached up sucking on his lower lip, fingering him. Arthur moaned under the kiss and arched his neck for Travis to kiss his jaw. Travis stopped to look at Arthur to see him out stretching his arms limply to his side, smiling. His voice now a faint whisper.

"Ravage me, Travis---"

Travis immediately turned Arthur over and positioned himself over his back. He placed his hand on Arthur's buttock and adjusted his erection on the spot, ready for insertion. Travis leaned over Arthur and slowly drew the shaft halfway in Arthur's arse and pulled it back. Arthur grunted weakly. Travis then forced the organ completely into his body in one stroke. Arthur cried out loudly, his body melting under Travis. Travis hugged Arthur from behind and pulled out steadily. He shoved it back inside and started repeating the movement. Arthur's body shook with every stroke, his mouth hanging open gasping for air. They both came out together, Travis shooting his fluid inside Arthur. His body fell on Arthur who was already limp with exhaustion, panting. Sweat tickled over his brows.

Arthur's head was lolled to the side, his eyes closed and breathing hard. Travis hovered up and turned him over on his back. He leaned down and kissed Arthur's temple. Arthur's eyes fluttered open and he smiled weakly. Travis hugged Arthur, snuggling in his neck. He closed his eyes, listening to Arthur's uneven breathing. Travis drifted off to a dream less sleep.

Sun rays kissed Travis's face, jolting him back from his sleep. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times. His body felt so worn out. He managed to look up. Travis was in his bed, tucked up and all clean.

Arthur was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

Travis sat silently on his couch, smoking his second cigarette. He had taken quick shower to freshen up and prepared a pot of fresh coffee. He needed to think.

Travis recalled everything about the night earlier. He remembered meeting Arthur vividly, but the events which happened after were fuzzy, almost dream-like, yet they felt so real. Acknowledging his mental issues into account, Travis had been facing imminent problems of memory lapses, auditory and visual hallucinations and sometimes paranoia ever since he was discharged. Adjusting to normal lifestyle was a fair big deal. He always had a feeling he was either watched or followed. It was aggravated especially after the incident with iris, as if someone was stalking him for payback. 

Travis's guns were confiscated so he remembered lacking anything on himself for protection, or just to feel safe. The feeling of unseen danger lurking in the darkness never left him, it was only diminished with time. But to his horror, the feeling was back.

As to Travis, he brought Arthur to his apartment and they had a sexual encounter last night. It was absurd. Travis found no such evidence supporting his theory. Everything was strangely in place. So was it just a dream, or a hallucination owing to his obsession for Arthur? Travis needed to know. He had to see Arthur.

Travis had no contact number on Arthur, so he had to meet him. He dropped Arthur last time at his home. Travis felt the urge to meet him right away but the thought of looking desperate turning up early in the morning was enough to stop him. It was perfect in the evening.

The other thing that bothered Travis was how Arthur would react on his arrival. He didn't want to think about it as it could hinder his former plan. He preferred it to be spontaneous.

Travis stole a glance at the wall call: 9:15 am.

Work could wait for today, he decided. And he'll wait for the right hour.

* * * * * *

Travis parked his taxi outside the old apartment building and stepped out. The sky was nearly black as night. Travis made his way inside the dilapidated building and looked around nervously. The interior was dim and rusty. There was no one in the lobby. Just then, Travis caught a young, attractive black woman carrying some groceries entering the lobby. She walked pass Travis and stopped infront of the elevator. Travis hurried after her.

"Excuse me---?"

The woman turned around, her eyes finally meeting Travis's. She frowned in confusion. Travis tried his best smile.

"I'm sorry to bother you. But I was looking for someone in this building. Maybe you can help me, I'll really appreciate it."

The woman's eyes narrowed, "I can tell. You're not from here, right?"

Travis laughed anxiously, "No, ma'am."

A warm smile came on the woman's face. Travis found it incredibly pleasing.

"All-right. Who are you looking for?"

Travis chewed his lips, thinking. "I don't know their last name, but his name is Arthur. He lives with his mother here."

"Arthur---?"

"Yes."

The woman's smile vanished instantly, her eyes widened. 

"You mean Arthur Fleck...?"

"I guess."

"Who are you to them?"

Odd question. 

Travis hesitated, "I'm a friend of Arthur's. My name is---" 

"Travis---" 

"What...?" 

The woman face had turned pale. Travis saw her hands were shaking.

"How do you know my name?" 

She didn't answer. Instead, she closed her eyes and took a shaky breath.

"He lives on the same floor where I do."

Travis scratched his head, thinking. 

A neighbor then? Maybe the woman was good friends with Arthur and he had mentioned him to her before.

"Would you mind if I come with you?"

The woman hesitated at first, then she gestured a small nod. "No, it's fine. Let's go."

She turned around and stepped into the elevator. Travis followed.

"Which floor?" Travis asked casually.

"Third."

Travis jabbed at the button and the elevator began it ascend. Travis felt the woman's eyes afixed on his back. He slightly turned his head to steal a glance and found her looking at him. Travis forced a smile. The woman blinked twice and shifted her gaze away quickly.

The elevator stopped at its destination and they both got off. The woman walked to her right and spun around to point to the left wing of the hallway.

"It's the last door to the left."

Travis momentarily glanced behind him to scan the vacant hallway. He looked back, "Thank you, ma'am." 

"It's Sophie."

"Thanks, Sophie."

Sophie's stare was intense. After what felt like eternity, she finally nodded and walked away.

What was her deal---? 

Travis shrugged to himself. He turned around and headed to Arthur's apartment. He stopped infront of the door, his heart pounding. He took a deep breath and without wrecking his brains again, reached for the doorbell. Buzz---

Nothing.

Travis pressed the doorbell again. His impatience was growing with each passing second. Are they not home? Did he get the wrong apartment?

"Happy? Someone's at the door. What are you doing?" a frail woman's voice.

"Nothing, Maa. I'm coming!"

Travis heard hurried footsteps approaching the door and someone getting the lock. The door slightly opened and Arthur popped his head out. He was shirtless. He let out a startled gasp as he saw his visitor.

"Travis---? You're here?"

"Arthur---" Travis's heart missed a beat. The sight of Arthur was like a ran of sunshine for him. " I wanted to make sure you're fine..."

"Happy? Why are you taking so long? What's wrong? Who's there at the door?" the voice again.

Arthur looked over his shoulder, "Nothing's wrong, Maa. It's a friend of mine."

"A friend? But you said you had no friends! " 

Arthur's face turned red in embarrassment. Travis swallowed his laugh.

"So are you okay?"

Arthur turned around and blinked, his expressions completely blank. His eyes opened wide as the realization hit him. He lowered his head, staring at the floor.

"I'm glad you came, Travis. I... I wanted to see you."

"Can you spare a moment? It won't take long" Travis added.

Say yes---

"Happy?"

"Maa, please hold on!" Arthur rubbed his jaw, thinking. "Just give me a second, Travis." He disappeared back again. Travis listened to some muffled shuffling noises. 

"Where are you going at this time of hour?"

"I'll be back in few minutes, Maa. I'm just outside."

The door opened again and Arthur stepped out wearing a gray sweatshirt and blue pajamas. His hair were drenched wet, probably he was in tbe shower when Travis arrived. He shut the door behind him.

"Please don't mind her." he whispered sheepishly.

Travis chuckled meekly, "Parents are bossy, it's acceptable."

Arthur swallowed nervously, "It is okay if we...talk outside?"

Travis nodded and walked down the hallway towards the elevator. They climbed in and rode in silence. Travis stepped out as he reached the ground floor with Arthur behind him. They walked out into the night. Travis's taxi was parked across them. Arthur shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. He was back to his fidgety self. Travis waited for him to start. Arthur finally looked up, 

"I... I wanted to thank you, Travis."

Travis narrowed his eyes in confusion, "For what, Arthur?"

Arthur licked his lips, "For the last night, when I passed out and you brought me back home safely."

"What---?"

Arthur didn't answer.

So was it all a dream? Why can't Travis remember anything? Or was Arthur lying? It felt too real to be a dream. Did he fantasize it all? Travis wanted to ask each question bugging his head, but he wasn't ready to scare Arthur away again. He can't afford to loose him now.

"Arthur, it's fine. I---" his voice quivered, "I wanted to apologize to you. I'm so sorry for my behavior last night, I shouldn't have yelled on you like that."

Arthur looked down, his features tensed. He gulped.

"I...I was thinking about what you said too. I can't keep it from you. I..." Arthur looked up, his eyes moist. "I do have feelings for you too, Travis. I'm not sure what it is but I do, I..." 

Travis's eyes opened wide in surprise.

A painful laugh escaped Arthur's mouth, he rubbed his throat and sniffed.

"I shouldn't have left you, when you told me your feelings. I don't know what came into me. Maybe I wasn't ready to believe it..."

A fresh tear rolled down his cheek. He finally looked up, his eyes were bloodshot red.

"You've been one of the nicest people I ever met in my whole life. I...I need you there."

When Travis didn't react, Arthur sniffed a sob and turned his stare away.

"It's your choice, Travis. I won't force you to stay. What you choose I'll respect it."

He sniffed again and closed his eyes as he wept. Suddenly he felt something warm touching his cheek. Arthur opened his eyes to find Travis wiping away his tear with his fingertip. He reached forward and cupped Arthur's face in his both hands, his features intense.

"You've no idea how much you mean to me, Arthur. I meant my every word I said. And I want to stay. I want to be with you."

"You mean it?"

Travis nodded firmly.

"Travis?"

"Yeah?"

"You are crying..."

"What...?"

Travis touched the corner of his eyes with his thumb, his skin was moist with specks of salt and water. Tears again? But they weren't out of pain, he felt genuinely happy.

"Something just caught my eye, that's all." Travis grinned. Arthur giggled.

"You're such a bad liar, Travis."

Travis brought his face closer and gently kissed the corner of Arthur's mouth. Arthur held his breath and closed his eyes as Travis landed a kiss on his lips and pulled away. Arthur stared back at him lazily, a satisfied smile appearing on his face.

Travis then reached for Arthur and playfully pushed him back towards the building.

"Now go, your mama's going to call the cops by now thinking I kidnapped her son."

Arthur giggled again, now wholeheartedly. "I won't mind being kidnapped by you at all."

Travis smiled and winked. Arthur returned the smile shyly.

"How will I contact you?"

Oh---

Travis reached inside his pocket and pulled out a card. "My number's on it. Call me anytime you want."

Arthur took it and blushed. He looked up, "So goodnight now?" 

It was as if he didn't want to leave. Travis didn't want him to go either but it was getting late.

"Goodnight, Arthur."

Arthur smiled again, "Goodnight, Travis."

Travis watched as Arthur turned away and disappear inside the building, a warm smile on his lips as he made his way back to the taxi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So our boys are finally together, but is it going to be this easy? Let me know in the comments. :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay in my update on the story. It's been hard for all of us these day. I'll try to post more often. Enjoy! :)

Travis woke up from his sleep at a loud shrill sound. He grunted and pushed himself up, rubbing his eyes. He reached for the bedside lamp and switched it on, his phone was ringing. 

Travis squinted at the wall clock. It was 2:45 in the morning. He picked up the receiver and pressed it against it ear, his eyes squeezed shut.

"Hello?" he yawned.

No answer.

Travis shifted the receiver to his other ear and struggled to sit a little straighter. It was hard to stay awake.

"Hello...?"

No response again.

Instead, he heard some faint muffled sound over the erratic noises of the line. It sounded like someone's breathing.

"Who's there?"

Nothing.

The breathing continued steadily.

A thought came into Travis's hazy mind.

"Arthur? Is it you?" 

Suddenly, there was a click followed by the dial tone. They had hung up.

Travis frowned and placed the reciever back. He fell on the pillows and instantly drifted back to sleep.

* * * * * *

The phone was ringing again but it was morning now. Travis groaned as he rolled over to grab the receiver.

"Hello."

"Hi, Travis."

Travis's eyes immediately opened wide as he recognized the throaty voice. He pushed himself up and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Arthur!" he breathed.

"I didn't disturb you, did I?". 

"No, I..." Travis blabbered, "It's when I get up. Is everything okay?" 

He heard Arthur giggle on the other end of the phone, "Yes, everything's fine. I just wanted to say good morning..."

"Oh---" Travis suddenly felt like a fool. He chuckled nervously, "I can't even remember the last time anyone wishing me so..."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

There was a small pause.

"If that's so, I'm going to wish you every day in the morning."

Travis couldn't stop smiling.

"You're a blessing, Arthur. But you really don't need to do it for me."

"Why not? You've already done enough for me. Take it as my gratitude."

Arthur's voice was gentle as he said it, but there was an authoritative tone to it. Travis liked it pretty much, Arthur being bossy.

Travis sighed playfully, "Ok, Arthur. I give up."

Arthur giggled again and said nothing. Travis heard him breathing as it aroused him. He could feel his presence around him.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you from last night, Travis..." Arthur whispered softly. "Are you really real? I mean...you're not just in my head, are you? " 

Travis licked his lips, thinking. "I'll answer that question of when we meet again."

Arthur let out a shaky breath. Travis felt his crotch tingle painfully. "I can't wait..."

Suddenly, something came up in Travis's mind.

"Arthur...?"

"Yes, Travis?" 

"Did you call me last night?"

Arthur paused. Travis held his breath, waiting anxiously for his response.

Arthur finally answered, "No, It's the first time I'm calling you." he sounded confused, "Is everything okay, Travis?"

Travis frowned in confusion. He doubted he gave his number to anyone besides Arthur recently. He always contacted his allies through payphone when he needed to. Maybe, a wrong call?

Travis sighed helplessly. He was being paranoid again.

"Travis? Can you hear me?"

Arthur's panicked voice pulled him back from his bleak thoughts. Travis squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Yes, Arthur. Don't worry, it's nothing."

"Is it someone I should be worried about? Someone you'd be seeing and I don't know? If you are, I'm going to kill you." 

"What?!" 

The response completely caught Travis off guard . There was an edge in Arthur's voice. A chill ran down his spine. He wasn't sure he heard him right.

"No, Arthur! It's nothing like that. I..."

Travis suddenly stopped as he heard Arthur laugh. It was unlike those of his fits.

"Arthur?"

"I'm sorry, Travis." Arthur snickered meekly, "I was just joking. You're so easy to fool."

"Arthur?" Travis gulped, "You don't really mean what you just said, do you?"

"No, Travis!"

Travis chuckled weakly, "You know you just scared me."

"Aren't my jokes good?"

"They are...convincing."

Arthur giggled but didn't answer. Travis rubbed his tensed jaw.

"Do you have anything to do today?"

"I've a job interview today, for the party clown. It's a small company and they don't pay much, but at least I'll have work to do..."

"Oh---"

"We can meet today, after my interview?"

Travis's heartbeat started racing with excitement. He clutched the reciever tightly.

"Sure, sounds great. When and where?"

"How about at the diner? Same time?"

"Okay."

Arthur paused again, "I have to go now. I can't wait to see you."

"Me too, Arthur. Good luck."

"Thank you, Travis---"

Travis placed the reciever back as he heard the familiar click. He stretched as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom.

* * * * * *

Travis arrived at the diner on time and spotted Arthur sitting in the same place they had last time. Arthur returned his gaze with a wave. Travis walked to the table and took his seat.

"Hey!" he beamed.

"Hi, Travis." Arthur smiled brightly, "You made it."

He looked different. Beside wearing a crisp red sweater over dark blue pants, his face was glowing. He seemed genuinely happy. Travis watched him in admiration.

"You look great, Arthur."

Arthur blinked. A gentle blush came into his cheeks, "Really? I'm not sure. Thank you, Travis..."

"Let me guess..." Travis speculated playfully, "The interview was a success, wasn't it?"

Arthur gasped. His eyes enlarged in surprised, 

"How could you tell? My, yes!" a big smile appeared on his face, "They loved it. I got the job! I'll start from Monday."

Travis smiled back, "I'm really happy for you, Arthur."

They ordered coffee and pancakes. Arthur talked about the new clown company and Travis discussed his job as the taxi driver as they ate together.

Suddenly, Arthur's face sobered. "Travis, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Arthur chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully, "I was thinking about what happened to Randall..."

Travis's fork stopped in the mid way to his month. He gulped and set the morsel down on his plate. Arthur tried again.

"You're so nice and kind, Travis. I...I never thought you could do...something like that."

Travis exhaled, "Arthur, I don't know how to put it. I can't...stand bad guys. I just can't. So they get what they deserve by me."

"But, Travis...?" Arthur lowered his voice as he brought his face closer, "It's wrong---"

Travis grabbed the fork and shoved it in his mouth. 

"Maybe. But that's just how I am, Arthur."

Arthur didn't answer. 

"I'm sorry, Arthur. You had to see me like that." Travis added. 

Arthur looked up and blinked a few times. 

"What? No! I didn't see you myself."

Travis stared him back in confusion.

"What you do mean? Then how do you know what I did to Randall...?" 

Arthur let out a shaky breath. He licked his lips, his eyes downcast.

"Gary told me when he came by." he looked up again, "He said someone came by in a taxi stopped them, insisted to meet Randall. He broke his leg."

Gary? The short guy?

Travis bit his lip blankly. He looked up.

"I don't know what to say, Arthur." he shook his head mildly, "I'm sorry I can't say I feel sorry for him, even if you do."

"I didn't say I feel sorry for him---"

Travis's eyes widened in disbelief. Arthur sniffed and casually sipped his coffee.

"You mean you're okay with what I did?"

Arthur placed his cup down, his eyes still lowered.

"I know it's not right." Arthur started, "But people are awful these days, and they need to be stopped..."

Arthur finally looked up, his eyes were blazing.

"It doesn't mean you are bad." he added firmly.

Sweat tickled down Travis's neck. He swallowed hard. There was something about Arthur which perplexed Travis.

"There're many things I've done that I'm not proud of..." Travis started, "I don't regret anything. It's always been my choice."

Arthur said nothing. Travis continued.

"I've killed people, Arthur. Whatever's my reason, it's not justifiable. It's not going to change the fact that my hands are covered in blood. Even if they were all bad, I did bad too. Maybe not in my eyes, but the world see it that way. If it haunts me still to this day, it means I picked up wrong choices."

Travis watched Arthur intently looking for any change in his expression, there was none. His face was completely blank.

"I'm not a good person, Arthur. Maybe not bad, but not good either. I can even be crazy sometimes..." he lowered his eyes in despair.

"I just want you to know because I don't want to hurt you anymore. You don't have to be with me, Arthur. You're good, and you don't deserve someone like me."

Talking about his past was one of the biggest challenges Travis had to face. He was the devil. He couldn't have imagined someone as angelic as Arthur being with him. He was on chances now.

Arthur took a deep breath and rubbed his temple, his forehead wrinkled with a deep frown.

"If I think what you did was okay, it's make me bad too. I might not have hurt anyone, it doesn't mean I don't have thoughts of doing it. I do---"

Travis stared back at him, his features tensed. Arthur pushed his hair behind his ears with both hands and leaned back.

"I'm crazy sometimes too. I'm on seven different medications to control it. I don't know what would I do without them, what would I be without them. Probably not good as you see me now, Travis. And maybe we deserve eachother."

Travis was completely flabbergasted. His mind went blank. Before he could react, Arthur interrupted him firmly.

"Will you promise me something, Travis?"

Travis met his intense stare but didn't answer.

"That you'll not hurt anyone now and won't betray me..."

Travis nodded weakly.

Arthur gave an encouraging smile. He sighed and finished his coffee in one gulp.

"Let's go."

They paid for their food and left the diner together. They drove in silence the rest of the way and Travis stopped the cab as they reached the building. Arthur slightly turned his head to face Travis, his voice a whisper

"I have to go now...I'll see you again, Travis."

He turned around to open the passenger door.

"Arthur, wait!"

Arthur stopped immediately, he gulped nervously.

"What---?"

Travis took a deep breath, "You asked me in the morning that if I was real? I told you that I'll answer the question when we meet. I'll answer now."

Arthur's chest started to heave evidently as he breathed.

Travis slowly inched forward towards him.


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur didn't move. Travis reached forward and carefully placed the back of his hand against Arthur's cheek. Arthur's eyes fluttered shut. His skin felt warm under Travis's touch. 

Travis let his hand glide slowly over the jawline and settle at his chin. With his thumb, Travis gently depressed Arthur's lower lip, slightly opening his mouth. Arthur let out shaky breath, Travis suddenly realized Arthur's whole body was shaking. He was anxious.

Travis moved closer and firmly grabbed Arthur with both of his hands. He shook him by his shoulders.

"Arthur, look at me!"

Arthur opened his eyes hesitantly. They flashed fear and uncertainty. Travis watched Arthur silently, his expressions solemn.

"Do you trust me?"

Arthur's adam apple bobbled in his throat as he swallowed. He gave a slight nod.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Arthur. You know that."

Arthur nodded again. Travis smiled softly. He reached up and brushed a lock of Arthur's curls away from his face and lightly caressed his nape, easing the muscles.

"Now relax. And close your eyes again."

Arthur followed. Travis carefully cradled Arthur's head and slowly brought it against his chest.

"What do you hear?"

Arthur licked his lips, "Your heart... It's beating fast."

Travis wrapped his arms around Arthur pulling his body into a gentle embrace, his head still resting on Travis's chest.

"Now what you do feel?"

Arthur smiled softly as he felt his body going limp in Travis's arms. 

"Warmth." he whispered.

Travis lowered his head and gently kissed his eyes, his warm breath tickling Arthur's thick eyelashes.

"And now?"

Arthur swallowed hard as the realization hit him. He opened his eyes and looked up, overwhelmed. Travis was staring down passionately at him.

"I feel...you."

Travis nodded.

Arthur's mind was starting to wander in all places. He was completely flabbergasted. 

"You're real---" he finally muttered.

Travis smiled again. Suddenly Arthur brought his face up and seized Travis's lower lip in his mouth. Travis's eyes widened in surprise as Arthur sucked on the flesh gently and pulled back, a relaxed smile slowly appeared on the corner of his lips.

"Now I know you're real, Travis."

Travis's mouth immediately came crashing down on Arthur's in a wild passionate kiss. Arthur moaned and opened his mouth wide as Travis shoved his tongue deep into his mouth. Arthur broke the kiss and threw his head back, exposing his long neck. He closed his eyes as Travis kissed his chin and jawline. His lips moved down Arthur's neck, planting passionate kisses and sucking his throat. Arthur let out a startled gasp as Travis suddenly sunk his teeth in the soft flesh, biting him. A fresh bite mark appeared on the spot and Travis soothed it with a gentle kiss. Arthur brought his lips down and kissed him hungrily, his body pressing hard against him. He then got up and moved to Travis's lap, with his legs apart. Travis held Arthur by the waist, his erection pressing against him. Arthur's smooth curls fell down caressing Travis's face as he devoured on his mouth feverishly, his arms wrapped around Travis's neck. 

The air around them felt suddenly hotter. Travis imagined shoving his throbbing cock inside Arthur's delicate body and watching him melt in his embrace... 

It took his every ounce of strength to pull back. Travis immediately grabbed Arthur by the shoulders and suddenly pushed him back, breaking the kiss. He had to be careful with Arthur, for Arthur's sake. He was afraid his advances would damage him.

Arthur blinked as if he just woke up from a dream. He looked dazed, his cheeks flushed red.

"What's wrong?"

Travis closed his eyes and rubbed his face.

"Nothing, Arthur. I just need to catch my breath."

"Are you okay, Travis?"

Travis looked up as he felt the concern in Arthur's voice. Arthur was staring back at him with confusion. Travis tried to smile in assurance, it came out as a weak one.

"I'm fine, Arthur..."

"Tell me."

Travis sighed in defeat.

"We should stop here for now..."

Arthur's lips tightened in a straight line, a deep frown appeared on his forehead. He looked as if he were slapped. He lowered his eyes and slightly shook his head.

"I'm sorry. It's embarrassing..."

"No, Arthur!"

Travis reached up and cupped Arthur's face in his hands. He made him to look up.

"I want you, Arthur. I want you more than anything else in this world. But I can't afford to hurt you now. It isn't the right time..."

Arthur closed his eyes and sighed. He took Travis's hand off his face and kissed the back of it.

"I know, Travis..."

Travis reached up and pushed Arthur's disheveled curls behind his ears. He leaned his head back against his seat, smiling.

"You're so beautiful, Arthur..."

Arthur giggled nervously. He reluctantly slided off Travis's lap and settled back in his seat. They sat in complete silence for a moment until Arthur finally moved and pulled opened the passenger door.

"Arthur?"

"Yeah?"

He slightly turned his head around to look over his shoulder.

"Make sure you cover that." Travis added mischievously, pointing to the spot on Arthur's neck where there was the bite mark, appearing a little darker in the shadows.

Arthur reached up to touch his neck, stopping at the tender point when he felt it beneath his fingertips. He smirked.

"I like the way it is."

Travis grinned back playfully. Arthur stepped out and walked to the entrance of the building. He then momentarily stopped to wave at Travis. Travis waved back. Arthur turned around and disappeared in the building.

Travis smiled to himself and started the cab. He looked around the road to scan his surroundings when something caught his eyes, he stopped. 

There, on the opposite end of the road stood Sophie. Her eyes were wide with shock and disbelief. She was staring right at Travis.

Was she standing there the whole time watching them make out?! 

Travis swallowed the hard lump in his throat and took a deep breath. He forced a smile and gave her a slight nod of his head for greeting. Sophie didn't react first, she then opened her mouth to say something and then closed it back again. After a moment, she replied with a hesitant nod. Travis smiled again and pulled the cab away from the curb. He watched Sophie watching him drive away from the rare view mirror.

* * * * * *

Travis recalled the troubled expression he had seen on Sophie's face as he tried to sleep. It was nearly two in the morning and Travis could barely doze off irrespective of how exhausted his body felt because of the work that day. Travis was certain Sophie had seen them and she wasn't only shocked because of what she saw. Travis hardly cared about it himself. What bothered him was that she looked as if she wanted to say something, something Travis was completely oblivious about. 

He remembered the change in her demeanor when he told her who he was when they met the first time. She even knew his name.

Maybe she liked Arthur and was jealous of him? Women can be really weird sometimes.

Travis was immediately pulled out of his thoughts when he heard his phone ringing beside him. Travis grabbed the receiver on the third ring and pressed it against his ear.

"Hello?"

There was no answer. Travis frowned in bewilderment. He cleared his throat nervously.

"Hello...?"

He couldn't hear anything. Travis chewed his lips thoughtfully. A dead line? Suddenly his eyes opened wide in surprise as he heard something. Travis tried to concentrate harder over the deafening silence, it was a muffled low pitched sound which continued to rise and fall. A chill ran down Travis's spine as the ultimate realization came to him. It can't be... 

"Who's there?!" he yelled in the speaker, "I know you can hear me, better speak up!"

Suddenly, there was a click and the line went dead.


	12. Chapter 12

Sunday went like a flash for Travis. He had been already nauseated due to lack of sleep. Arthur had called him in morning as he promised. He instantly recognized from the sound of Travis's voice that he was unwell. Travis had to lie about consuming some stale food. At first, Arthur had been skeptical about it, he eventually had to buy it in the end. Travis concluded either Arthur was not too easy to fool, or Travis wasn't as hard to read. Arthur had vibrantly talked about how excited he was for the next day, his first day at work.

Travis had listening to him quietly and felt a lot better already. Arthur's presence, even his voice worked like magic for him, curing his dark soul. He wanted to be a good man around Arthur, apart from his promise to him for not going back to his old ways, It was natural insight. Maybe, Travis wasn't a bad person after all. He was just lost in the world of desires. Coming across Arthur was probably the best thing he had ever experienced in his life. He had a vivid picture in his mind the innocent were long gone, crushed by the society.

He recalled the very first time he had seen Arthur dressed as the clown, smiling and dancing, exuding colors. Arthur was certainly not a happy person, there was something about him which had fascinated Travis: Arthur knew how to make someone smile. His aura was ethereal. No wonder why the kids loved him so much, because he belonged with them: so pure.

Travis wasn't still sure he deserved him. He had been living in the wild, experienced becoming one of them. The imminent fear of hurting Arthur had stayed with him because he was extremely impulsive, controlled by his insatiable desires. He was immensely sexually attracted to Arthur. To be with him was a hard struggle, a constant battle that Travis had to fight in his intricate mind.

Travis had never spoken up about himself and his past with anyone as much as with Arthur, he felt it was the right thing to do. Arthur had taken it in, he understood it and still wanted to be with him, Travis was grateful. Finding out a part of Arthur's gloomy truth was surprising to him. It was hard to believe for him that Arthur harbored such intense thoughts, completely contrary to his soft demeanor. However, Travis still felt Arthur had not completely opened up to him. It was certainly not an easy thing to do. But Travis wanted to know all about Arthur because he was a still a mystery, calling to be unfolded.

Travis had asked Arthur out again but to his dismay, Arthur couldn't go. He told him he had full scheduled sessions with his psychologist on Sundays and he always spent time with his mother doing mom-son stuff afterwards.

"Don't be sad, Travis." Arthur had said, "I can't wait to see you too! But my mom's going to be upset if I break my promise with her. We'll meet right after my work tomorrow, okay?"

And that was the conversation.

Travis often used to take Sunday off but he worked that day to keep his mind busy, driving. Inspite of it, there was something else bothering him the whole time.

It was three in the morning and Travis sat quietly in his bed, preoccupied. His body was completely worn out, but his mind was alert enough to face what was coming. As he had expected, the phone started ringing.

Travis immediately extended an arm and picked up the receiver. He pressed it nonchalantly against his ear. The same pattern of breathing was there on the other end of the line.

"Hey, you finally made it." Travis sneered, "You took longer to call tonight."

There was no answer. Travis was certain the person was actively listening.

"I guess you won't be introducing yourself afterall. Maybe I don't have to either, because you already know me."

Nothing. There was no shift in the person's breathing.

"I am guessing you're someone I know as well." Travis added mockingly, "but I must admit, I can't remember anyone who was a coward..."

There!

The breathing had intensified.

Travis smirked, "What, did I upset you? You know it's the truth, don't you? Hiding away like that, not coming out... It's obvious."

Suddenly, the breathing came to a stop, as if the person was holding his/her breath. Travis slowly sat up, his voice dead serious.

"I'll take back my words only when you come out. I'll wait for you. If not, you know what you are. And I'll keep on reminding you that..."

And then, the line was dead.

Travis carefully placed the receiver back and fell on the sheets again, his eyes staring blanking at the ceiling. Travis wasn't sure what he just did was a rational move. He could have just ignored the calls, they would have eventually stopped coming at some point. But a part of Travis knew the unnerving reality: someone was after him.  
By instigating the caller, Travis knew he had jeopardized his safety even more. He wasn't safe before either, but now the chances of him getting attacked had increased. It was the only way to confront him. He wasn't being paranoid at all, this was very real. His mind was still intact enough to differentiate reality from fantasy. Travis finally closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep.

* * * * * *

Travis woke up before Arthur's morning call. He showered and made himself fresh coffee, he needed the caffeine badly. Arthur sounded chirpy as he did yesterday.

"Oh, Travis! I'm so excited. Are you ready to meet today?"

"More than ready."

Arthur told Travis the location of the new clown company and they decided to meet there after Arthur finished his routine. When Arthur had hung up, Travis stood up to leave for his work, he stopped dead in his tracks as he opened his apartment door to leave. Something crossed his mind.

Travis strode back in the kitchen, pulled out one of the drawers and grabbed a small pocket knife, sharp and quick. He stuffed it in his jeans pocket and silently left the apartment.


	13. Chapter 13

Travis stood beside his taxi waiting for Arthur, lost in his thoughts. He blankly looked up at Arthur's work place, it was a small building recently renovated, the sign board read 'Send in the clowns'. Travis smirked, shaking his head as he remembered a song with similar name by Frank Sinatra.

The sky was already darkening. Travis took a glance at his watch and frowned: 7:40 pm. Arthur was taking longer than expected, he was already 40 minutes late. Travis rummaged his pockets and lighted a cigarette. He placed it between his lips and took a deep puff, exhaling the dense smoke through his nostrils as it invaded his lungs. He absently scanned his surroundings and found nothing out of place. He carefully reached in his jeans pocket, feeling the cold metal in his palm and sighed in relief as he sucked on the cigarette. Just then, there was a tap on his shoulder from behind and Travis felt as if his heart had seized with fright. He spun around.

Arthur was staring back at him, flashing his big red smile. He was wearing his clown make-up and costume. Travis realized he was holding his breath the whole time, he sighed in relief and momentarily closed his eyes.

Arthur's smile instantly vanished from his face. He reached forward and grabbed Travis's arm firmly.

"Travis, are you okay?"

Travis swallowed hard and forced a smile.

"I'm fine, Arthur. Don't mind me being jumpy."

Arthur frowned suspiciously, "That's very unlike you, Travis. Are you sure everything's fine?"

Travis knew he wasn't good at faking stuff, keeping it from Arthur was harder. He didn't want to hide what he was going through but logically, Arthur had nothing to do with it. Travis wasn't sure what was coming for him, he wished to keep Arthur out of it at any case.

"Travis?"

"Yeah..." Travis nodded, smiling again. "How was your day?"

Arthur gave one of his brightest smiles, his eyes shinning.

"It was amazing. They send me to a kid's birthday party today and the response was great, so they made me permenant. They even paid me extra."

Arthur held up his hand, he was holding something in a brown wrapping paper.

"I brought us some champagne. I wanted to celebrate it with you. Let's go to your place."

Travis's blood suddenly ran cold.

"My place?"

Arthur nodded. When Travis couldn't answer, Arthur sighed.

"I know what you're thinking, Travis. It's going to be okay. You don't have to worry."

Travis chewed on his lips, thinking. 

Was it a good idea? Arthur was really happy and turning him down wasn't the option either. Besides, Travis badly wanted to be with him. He just needed to be careful and alert...

"Okay. Let's go."

They climbed in the taxi and drove to Travis's place. Travis entered his small apartment first and walked in direction of his bed to switch on the table lamps. Arthur followed and stopped in the doorstep, his eyes looking around the condo. It was a one room apartment with a small kitchenette and a bathroom. Travis scratched his head.

"It's not much to look at...but this is how it is."

Arthur blinked in confusion, "What? I think It's perfect. It's a big room."

Travis smiled, "Thanks. Take a seat. I'll get the glasses."

Arthur walked over to the couch facing a small television and sunk in it. He shrugged out of his jacket and took off his wig, nestling his curls. Travis closed the apartment door and made his way in the kitchenette to grab the glasses. He returned back into the room and rested them on a small coffee table infront of Arthur. He reached for Arthur's jacket and wig and walked over to hang it by the door. He stopped in his tracks and looked back at Arthur.

"Did you get a new jacket and wig?"

Arthur was pouring the glowing liquid in the glasses.

"No, actually. I had the a pair of the wig. The jacket is my older one."

Travis hung it and walked back to Arthur.

"You left your wig and the other jacket in my car. I've it on me. It slipped my mind to return them back to you."

Arthur ran a hand through his hair, a small frown appeared on his forehead as he handed Travis his glass.

"I can't exactly remember... I thought I had lost it somewhere else."

Travis sank in the couch facing Arthur. Arthur looked up at Travis, his eyes glowing. He raised the glass towards him and giggled.

"So what should we toast to?"

Travis thought for a moment and shrugged it off when he couldn't come up with anything. Arthur's smile widened.

"To us?"

Travis nodded, smiling. He raised his glass up.

"To us."

They clicked and brought the glasses to their mouths, swallowing the liquid in one gulp. Arthur coughed. Travis chuckled. Arthur wiped his mouth and reached for the bottle to fill the glasses again.

"No!" Travis suddenly cried.

The bottle almost slipped from Arthur's hands. He looked up, confused.

"What happened?"

Travis sighed, "Alcohal gets me after two drinks. I don't think it's a good idea."

Arthur blinked a few times as if trying to process what he just heard. He started pouring the liquid anyway, his voice soft and little slurry.

"You don't have to worry all the time, Travis---"

He handed the refill back to Travis. Travis stared into his liquor absently. Arthur flashed an encouraging smile and Travis gulped it down quickly, it felt hot in his parched throat. Arthur took out his packet of cigarettes and lighted two of them. He handed one to Travis.

After a while, Travis felt the room slightly swinging before his eyes. He looked up at Arthur through the white smoke and dark room. Arthur had his head tossed back against the couch. He was staring at the ceiling, smoking. Arthur always appeared bright and colorful in daylight dressed as clown, he was exuding an eerie aura now, his make-up accentuated by the darkness of the room. The blue diamonds around his eyes now appeared black. The most unsettling thing Travis noticed was Arthur's red smile which looked bright otherwise, It wasn't anything like it now. The paint was looking dark and viscous resembling fresh blood. Travis swallowed.

"Arthur?"

"Hm...?"

"I remember the first time I saw you. You were in your clown make-up."

Arthur didn't move, a small smile formed on the corner of his lips.

"And?"

"I was fascinated by you. I never liked clowns but, there was something different about you."

Arthur took a puff of smoke and licked his lips, wetting them.

"And? What else did you like about me then?"

Travis gave a slight thought, it was taking an effort to think clearly.

"I liked the way you danced. I couldn't look away."

Arthur slowly lifted his head up, his eyes finally met Travis's.

"You did?"

Travis nodded.

Arthur smiled dreamily. He placed his cigarette on the edge of the table and stood up, a little unsteady. Travis watched him in confusion as he bowed down, offering his hand to him.

"May I have this dance?"

Travis laughed a little, shaking his head.

"Arthur...I can't dance!"

"It's not that difficult." Arthur added with confidence, "Come on."

"But there's no music..."

"I'll sing."

Travis hesitantly placed his hand in Arthur's open palm. Touching his warm skin sent jolts through his whole body. Arthur pulled him to his feet and adjusted his body infront of Travis. He grabbed Travis's arm and placed it on his shoulder.

"Follow my movements."

"Okay..."

Arthur's hand gently slipped around Travis's waist pulling him closer. Travis swallowed nervously as he felt the heat radiating from Arthur's thin body. The familiar smell of his cologne, paint and smoke on his breath tingled hia senses. Arthur begin to move, softly humming to a song Travis couldn't recall. Travis tried to follow but his body was barely cooperating. Arthur giggled.

"Just relax. And close your eyes..."

Travis took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Arthur started to dance again to the song. Travis felt his body relax as he glided along. He smiled to himself.

"I'm dancing."

"See? It's not that difficult."

Travis nodded in agreement. He didn't realized Arthur's hand had slipped down on his hips, gently caressing them. His hand suddenly moved under Travis's shirt, forcing Travis to open his eyes. Arthur had his eyes closed as he slightly leaned over Travis's shoulder.

"Arthur?"

"Relax, Travis..."

Arthur moved his face in Travis's neck and softly kissed his throat. He moved up and kissed him beneath his jaw, his hand massaging Travis's taut abdomen. Travis felt himself getting aroused, his head was starting to get fuzzy.

"Arthur...don't do this." Travis murmured lazily as Arthur kissed the corner of Travis's agape mouth. His eyes flickered shut again as Arthur took Travis's lower lip between his teeth and pulled on it, his body pressing hardly against Travis. Travis's dick throbbed painfully as blood started to rush in his loin. He moaned in desperation. Arthur slowly slipped his long tongue in Travis's mouth and Travis whole body shook in urgency.

No, Arthur...

Suddenly he grabbed Arthur firmly by the hair and pulled his head back, his face serious. Arthur laughed weakly as he ran his pink tongue over his red lips. Travis could no longer resist the temptation.

He immediately grabbed Arthur by the waist, lifting him up over his shoulder. Arthur let out a startled gasp as Travis tossed him onto the bed. Arthur slightly propped himself up on his eldow, giggling. Travis roughly turned Arthur on his back and climbed on his legs. He quickly shrugged off his jacket and embedded his mouth in Arthur's neck, kissing him hungrily. Arthur moaned in ecstacy, his hands passionately exploring Travis's hair and back. Travis moved his mouth to Arthur's lips, sucking on his tongue. He felt Arthur's body withering beneath his weight which even turned him on. He broke the kiss and straightened up. He quickly took of his shirt and tossed it away on the floor. His fingers reached for Arthur's waist coat fumbling with the buttons. He then opened Arthur's shirt half way enough to expose his pale chest. Travis leaned down planting strong kisses on every spot, his teeth sinking in Arthur's nipple. Arthur cried out in pain, his eyes shut tight. That's when Travis completely lost it.

He sat up and hurriedly pulled open his zipper, slipping his jeans down his buttom. He reached for Arthur's pants and yanked them out. Arthur immediately looked up, his face expressing confusion.

"Travis...?"

Travis's hands circled around Arthur's tighs, placing them around his waist. Arthur's eyes bulged in horror as Travis pulled down Arthur's underwear.

"Travis---!"

Travis lowered his underwear, his hard cock jutting out. Arthur was almost hyperventilating, his eyes flashing fright. Travis hovered Arthur's butt up with his hand and adjusted his dick on Arthur's opening spreading the precum. He widened it with his fingers massaging the spot and then carefully inserted his dick in place.

Arthur's whole body was shaking as he struggled to breath, his eyes were started to roll back in his head.

"Travis! No---"

Travis's dick was already halfway inside Arthur and Arthur's body had turned almost limp, his head hit the bed, gasping. 

"Travis...stop."

Suddenly, something heavy crashed hard on back of Travis's head. Intense numbing pain shot through Travis's skull as his vision turned complete white. And then, everything went black.


	14. Chapter 14

Bright red specks of hues amidst the darkness danced before his eyes as Travis slighty became aware of himself. The excruciating pain returned again, creeping from the back of his head to the front, holding him back from opening his eyes. He tried to reach for the aching spot but he couldn't, something was restraining him.

With an effort, Travis slighty managed to partially opened his eyes, his breathing ragged. The pain had somewhat subsided, now replaced with numbness, as if he was anesthetized. He looked around, blinking a few times. Despite of his blurry vision and the darkness of the room, it didn't take long for him to realize he was in his own apartment. After a while, Travis's mind begin to clear up, just becoming aware of what had happened and now what he was into made his blood turn cold.

He was sitting upright in a chair, his hands tied behind his back. Travis frantically struggled against the restrains but it was so tightly bound it cut into his skin each time he made slight movement. He finally stopped and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He needed to think properly. Someone was in his apartment, Travis could feel he wasn't alone. Did he even lock the door right? Travis was being attacked by the intruder when he was with Arthur...

Arthur---!

"Arthur?!" Travis cried miserably, desperation in his voice. "Arthur, can you hear me---?"

Please, be okay...

Just then, the light flickered on and Travis had to look away, closing his eyes. His heart violently thudded in his chest with dread and apprehension; his attacker was in the room and he was completely helpless.

Travis never really cared about life and death before. He was a man without purpose, ready to accept anything that comes in his way without a second thought. He had been on the verge of dying few months back, but getting a life back didn't make much of a difference for him either. It felt the same. He didn't feel alive at all. It was as if he was a just hollow husk of flesh and bones, nothing more. But ever since Arthur appeared in his life, his beliefs started to make a shift. Travis had become vigilant, and for the first time he begin fearing for his life. He had realized he never really wanted to die, all he wished was to live. Travis had found his purpose now: to live for one he loved.

Yes, he loved Arthur. And he wanted to live with him, he couldn't see him again if he die tonight.

Mustering up his courage, Travis looked back. What he saw next left Travis shaken.

Arthur was lying on the bed, completely unharmed. He was staring blankly at the ceiling as he pressed a light to his red lips drawing out white smoke in rings, his other arm behind his head. Travis blinked in confusion.

"Arthur, you're okay...? "

It was more of a question to himself. Arthur didn't response. Instead, he continued to smoke nonchalantly as if Travis wasn't even in the room.

Travis carefully scanned the room looking for anything out of place, everything was the same. He turned his attention back to Arthur.

"Arthur?"

Arthur's eyes finally settled on Travis. He took a long puff, his voice low.

"Oh, so you're finally awake?"

"Arthur...?" Travis started again, swallowing the hard lump that formed in his throat. "Is someone in here?"

Arthur frowned. He slowly sat up and shook his head.

"No, Travis. There's no one."

"But..." Travis choked, "Someone attacked me."

Arthur rolled his eyes lazily, tugging a tuft of his curls that slipped out behind his ear.

"No one else attacked you, Travis." he cooed, "It was me."

Travis's jaw dropped open in utter surprise.

"Did you...tie me up too?"

"It was necessary."

Travis's mind was already spinning. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to concentrate.

"Why, Arthur?"

"Take a guess."

Travis thought for a moment and eventually, sighed in defeat. He shook his head slowly.

"I don't know..."

Arthur gasped in a mocking way. He slightly tilted his head, smirking.

"You don't know? Come on, Travis. You're better than this! Try to remember."

When Travis didn't answer, Arthur dropped his legs down of the bed and turned to face Travis, his expressions solemn.

"You still can't remember, can you?" he conjectured calmly. "Let me remind you then."

In a fraction of seconds, Arthur face grotesquely morphed into utter portrayal of bitterness.

"You tried to rape---"

"No!"

Travis sudden scream surprised Arthur, stopping him in the middle his sentence. His body started to relax again.

"You've something to add...?"

Travis's heart was pumping so fast it felt as if he just ran a marathon. The realization was too much to take. He lowered his eyes in shame.

"I...I admit. It wasn't something I planned. I..." His eyes started to water, "I lost control."

Arthur sat still, his fingers gripping the edges of the bed tightly. After a moment which felt like eternity, Arthur took a last puff of his light before throwing it away. He elegantly stood up, casually straightening the wrinkles on his clothes in few quick strokes.

"That's what I like about you, Travis. You know where you go wrong. It's the reason you're alive and I didn't kill you."

He ambled towards Travis, stopping infront of him. He leaned down, bringing his mouth to one of Travis's ear.

"Unlike the others..."

Travis's eyes opened wide in horror. Arthur straightened up and walked away. He stopped in the middle of the room, his back towards Travis.

"Arthur?" Travis called him in a dead voice, "What do mean by that...? What did you do---?"

"Nothing. I just hurt them really bad, you know."

Travis couldn't believe what was happened. It felt like a gruesome nightmare which was getting worse moment by moment. It all ends when one wakes up except, it doesn't when it's reality.

Arthur, a killer? But Arthur's so pure and innocent...

Travis didn't realize what happened next, he started to laugh. Arthur slightly turned his head in curiosity to look over his shoulder, his eyebrows drawn up. Travis continued to laugh until he coughed. He shook his head, smiling to himself.

"You got me, Arthur. You really did. That's a good joke."

"Joke?"

Arthur spun around, he looked amused.

"You wanna hear another one?"

Travis said nothing. Arthur rubbed his chin, pretending to be thinking.

"When I first met you, I could tell something was up with you." Arthur started playfully, "You were just 'too perfect' that I didn't trust you."

He walked towards the couch against the wall opposite to Travis and then stopped. He scratched his forehead.

"Well, I was obviously somewhat curious about you but not as much. When you confessed your feelings, it wasn't surprising to me at all.Things really changed for me when I saw you with Randall..."

Arthur dropped in the couch with a heavy sigh of pleasure, a satisfied smile across his lips. He closed his eyes as he threw his head back.

"It made me feel so good... I realized I was not alone. There was someone like me."

Arthur's smile widened, "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was completely obsessed with you. I had to see you again."

Travis watched him silently, his logical mind trying to put pieces together. There was a heavy feeling surfacing in his chest: something was not right.

Arthur swiftly pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. He crossed his legs as he took a puff, his eyes glowing.

"I wanted to test you, explore you, see for myself how much you stay true to your words..."

"Those calls...it was you."

Arthur nodded, smiling in triumph.

Had Arthur been lying the whole time? Was the idea Travis had in his mind of Arthur all wrong? All those warm moments with him, were they an act too?

Travis shook his head in denial.

"You're not Arthur..." Travis whispered.

Arthur's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"What? I didn't hear you."

"You can't be Arthur..." Travis looked up, glaring. "Who are you---?"

Arthur blinked, surprised. He grinned.

"Do you know what you're saying, Travis?"

Travis nodded firmly, "You're Arthur... But you're not him."

Arthur chewed his lips thoughtfully.

"You know you're not that dumb after all. I thought I had to waste my time explaining everything."

"What do you want?" Travis sneered.

Arthur suddenly raised his hands infront of him.

"Hey, take it easy. I'm not that bad." he mocked, "Hear me out. It's quite simple."

Travis didn't say anything. Arthur dropped his hands and sucked on the cigarette. He stretched himself as he blew out the smoke.

"Arthur loves you. But you only want him."

"What do you mean?"

Arthur sighed. He leaned forward, his face few feet away from Travis.

"You said you had feelings for Arthur. You never said you loved him. You wanted to fuck him" he said calmly "Is it not true?"

Travis's face turned red. He shut his eyes in pain.

"Yes, it's true." Travis blurted out miserably, "But it's not like that now. I...I love him now."

"Well, you just tried to fuck him---"

"No, I didn't...I lost control."

Arthur's face turned serious.

"Even after finding all this out about him?" he rasped.

Travis answered came out in a weak nod, "Yes..."

Arthur frowned, he suddenly looked perplexed.

"I like you, Travis. I really do. But I can't let you touch him."

"Why...?"

"Arthur needs to be protected. That's why I am here."

"From me?"

Arthur nodded grimly.

"But I'll never hurt him..." Travis croaked painfully.

Arthur shrugged casually, "Well, you could have so I had to stop you. You should be grateful to me. I prevented you from ruining it."

Travis remained silent. Arthur momentarily shifted his attention to pouring himself a glass of liquor. The restrains were cutting like sharp glass against his skin as Travis uncomfortably wiggled against it. He ended up wincing in pain.

"It's of no use, Travis. You'll just hurt yourself" Arthur added matter-of-factly, his eyes focused on preparing his glass.

Just then, something popped up in Travis's mind.

The pocket knife...it was in his jeans' pocket!

Keeping his body still, Travis subtly positioned his arms, fingers extended, desperate to access his side pocket. Arthur had done a good job with restrains, so it was really hard to keep a straight face, even move. Travis slightly parted his legs, his fingers finally half way inside. His face drained off colour when he found nothing. No...

Arthur finally looked up. He reached into his breast pocket.

"Looking for this?"

He held up his hand, a shiny object glimmered in it: Travis's pocket knife.

Travis's heartbeat started to race at abnormal pace. Arthur swallowed the liquor and then stood up, spinning the knife between his fingers.

"Let's get down to business, shall we?" he kneeled down between Travis's legs. "I was nice today. This was a warning. Next time I'll not even think---"

Arthur switched the blade open and placed the tip on Travis's bare stomach.

"I'll just push it in you and twist it all the way cutting through your innards. Then I'll watch the life drain out of you with your blood..."

He moved the blade down until he reached Travis's crotch. He smiled softly.

"And then, one slice of blade and your dick will be in my hands!"

Travis was having trouble breathing. Arthur gently tipped his chin up with his other hand.

"Then I'll just stick the dick in your mouth. And leave a paper note over you saying 'Suck your dick.' That's all. Trust me, I've done it before. It's no big deal."

Travis looked deep into Arthur's eyes for the first time then. His eyes were abnormally dilated, appearing as big dark orbs, devoid of soul and sanity. Travis suddenly teared up and he quickly had to turn his face away in misery.

Arthur's demeanor suddenly turned rigid when he noticed it. He took the blade off Travis's shaft and closed it up, his features tensed.

"To be honest, I don't want it to happen either. But you'll leave me no choice if you hurt Arthur again..."

Arthur stood up and slowly walked behind Travis.

"I'll hurt Arthur too if I did that... So be a good boy, Travis."

Arthur leaned down and cleanly slashed through Travis's restrains. He straightened up and quietly walked towards the bed. Travis watched his wrists absently, there were bright red open marks smudged with little blood where the plastic had pierced his skin. Arthur dropped in the bed heavily and closed his eyes.

"You know, you should sleep too." he muttered, "You really need it."

When Travis didn't reply, Arthur lifted his head up, squinting.

"Oh, I forgot to add..." he smiled genuinely, "You're really good at fucking, you know."

With that, Arthur turned the bedside lamp off leaving Tavis surrounded by darkness again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all. I hope everyone's doing fine. This was probably one of the hardest chapters for me to write, I'm glad I pulled it. I'm really excited to play with Joker's character in the upcoming story. Let's see what he brings to table for our dear Travis in future ;) Again, thanks for reading.


	15. Chapter 15

Sunlight gently caressed Arthur's skin, stirring him from his deep slumber. He shivered. His body was completely covered in sweat adding to his uneasiness, the clothes clinging to his thin frame. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand and touched his face. It felt hot and greasy. He had forgotten to wash off the paint last night. With an effort, Arthur opened his eyes, finally becoming aware of his surroundings for the first time: He was in Travis's room. 

Just then, the memory from last night immediately struck him like a bolt of lightning. 

"Travis..."

He frantically looked around the room, his heart beating so fast it felt as if it would explode. He stopped immediately, holding his breath.

Travis was slumped in one of the couches facing Arthur, smoking. Arthur exhaled in relief.

"Good morning, Arthur." Travis chimed in.

Arthur blinked in confusion.

"Good morning, Travis..."

"Did you sleep well?"

Arthur nodded, perplexed.

Travis smiled heartily. He casually pointed in the left of the room.

"The bathroom's right there. You can go and freshen up. I'll get us some coffee. You have work today, remember?"

He stood up and made his way to the kitchenette.

"Wait!"

Travis suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around, a quizzical look on his face.

Arthur swallowed nervously, "Did...something happen last night?"

"What do you mean?"

Arthur lowered his eyes, embarrassed. "When we..." his face reddened.

Travis said nothing, his face blank.

Arthur protectively wrapped his arms around his shaking body. He closed his eyes in torment.

Travis rolled his eyes. He shook his head, smirking.

"What, Arthur? You want to talk about it? I thought you wanted to play dumb again."

Arthur looked up, his eyes damp. 

"What...What do you mean?" he croaked.

"You know exactly what I mean." Travis replied sternly.

"Travis, it's not what you think..."

Travis was scowling unapologetically.

Arthur opened his mouth to reply but to his horror, he started laughing. The laughter intensified until he started coughing.

Travis watched Arthur silently. He then turned away vanishing in the kitchenette. He reappeared after a moment, a glass of water in his hand. He walked over to Arthur, handing him the glass. Arthur hesitantly reached for it and pressed it between his trembling lips as gulped it down his parched throat. His hands shook violently, spilling almost all water on himself as he drank.

Travis sighed in defeat. He rested his hand on Arthur's head, stroking his hair gently. Arthur stopped shaking a little and finally managed to finish his glass. He sat unmoving, his body hunched. Travis stepped away. He walked over to the wall and leaned against it, facing Arthur.

Arthur didn't move, his head loosely hung over his heaving chest. The paint on his face was smudged with sweat and tears now. He looked like a broken clown doll. Travis started, his voice soft now.

"Why didn't you tell me before, Arthur?" he moaned, "Why did you hide it?"

Arthur sniffed a sob, his eyes shut tight.

"I... I was scared." he whispered, his voice almost inaudible, "I thought I might loose you after you know the truth. I... I thought I had it this time."

"Arthur..." Travis started adamantly, his jaw tensed. "Who's him?"

Arthur's forehead creased. He gripped the covers tightly until his knuckles turned white.

"He's with me for as long as I can remember..." Arthur mumbled, "I thought he wasn't even real...that he was just in my head. But when I needed someone, he was there. He's always been there for me..."

"What does he want?"

Arthur shook his head quickly, "Nothing..."

"Arthur?" Travis commanded firmly "Tell me everything."

A tear rolled down Arthur's pale cheek, "He just don't like watching me getting hurt." he answered timidly, "He hates awful people. He gets crazy sometimes. But he's harmless now."

"Harmless?!" Travis cried impatiently, "Are you fucking kidding me? Do you even remember what happened last night? He could have killed me!"

Arthur finally looked up, appalled.

"No...It can't be." he gasped, "He promised me he won't hurt anyone now. Especially you, Travis. He can't hurt you."

"Do you even know what you're saying, Arthur? Travis yelled miserably "You're defending him. Shit, Arthur!"

"No, Travis! He promised me! And He wants me to be with you..."

Travis started pacing the room anxiously. He raked a hand through his hair.

"This is crazy!" he mumbled under his breath, "This is just crazy..."

Arthur watched Travis quietly. He wiped his tears and looked away, defeated.

"I know you won't believe me. You think that I'm making this up, that I'm crazy...Maybe I am."

"I believe you! Damn it!"

Arthur's mouth dropped open in complete surprise. He blinked a few times, startled.

"But..."

Travis stopped pacing and stomped over to Arthur. He sat on the bed and cupped his face in his hands.

"You're not crazy, Arthur." Travis said firmly. "He's real. I saw him myself. I know now."

Arthur's eyes suddenly gleamed with hope.

"You...you really believe me...?" he sniffed.

"I believe you..." Travis repeated, "And I believe him too.

"What do you mean?"

Travis swallowed in fear. Sweat tickled down his stiff temple.

"He warned me. If I touched you again, he'd kill me. I know he wasn't lying..."


	16. Chapter 16

"No..." Arthur squeaked, shaking his head in denial. "I don't think he meant that---"

"Arthur, look at me..."

Arthur's eyes focused on Travis, fresh unfallen tears glimmering in his green eyes.

"Is he really harmless?"

Arthur gulped, his jaw tightened. He blinked a few times before turning his gaze away. Travis had his answer.

"You were scared when you woke up..." Travis continued carefully, "There was something that bothered you. It's time for you to tell me."

Arthur didn't move at first. After a moment which felt like forever, he finally responded with a slight nod of his head. Travis held his breath, his pulse throbbing.

"I'd been at Arkham state hospital for some years of my life." Arthur begin, suddenly sounding distant, "I don't remember how I got there. They said I did some...terrible things."

A sad tight smile appeared on his red lips, the delicate skin crinkled around the corners of his eyes. "I told them I was innocent, but they never believed me. Instead, they would hurt me."

He took a deep breath and sniffed, "And then he was there..."

Arthur looked up, his eyes staring blankly in space. "He told me they were hurting me because...of him. He said he only wanted to protect me...He promised he won't do anything which would hurt me. He asked me to trust him."

He smiled again, "I did. I did exactly as he told me. And it started to...hurt less. I was discharged within a few months. But it was still hard, Travis."

He finally looked in Travis's eyes, the smile didn't leave his lips, "People were still awful, Travis. They didn't stop hurting me. It was starting to make him crazy again. But he couldn't do anything...He had a promise to me."

The smile quickly dissolved from Arthur's face as he broke the stare. He started wiping his tears with the sleeve of his shirt.

Travis suddenly felt sick to his stomach as the realization hit him. He didn't realize his body was shaking. His eyes fluttered shut as wave of dizziness washed over him. Just then, He felt something warm caressing his face and neck. With an effort Travis opened his eyes, his breath ragged.

Arthur was holding Travis's face in his hands. His hands dug in Travis's shoulder, shaking him desperately. But Travis felt numb to his touches. Arthur's lips were moving too, but Travis couldn't hear him either. It felt as if was under water.

"Travis! Travis!"

Travis blinked a few times as Arthur's frantic voice suddenly pulled him out of his stupor. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves, but the dreadful feeling still lingered in his gut.

"Travis---?" Arthur cried, "Can you hear me now...?"

He stroked Travis's damp face gently and kissed his temple softly. Travis swallowed the bile down his throat and nodded weakly.

"Thank God..."

"Arthur...?"

"I'm here, Travis."

Arthur cradled Travis's head in his arms and pressed him against his chest. He kissed Travis's hair and rested his cheek on his head, his arms wrapped around Travis's shaking body. Travis listened to Arthur's heartbeat silently, his familiar scent sensitizing his nostrils, calming him down a little. Travis wanted to cry. He couldn't remember anyone hugging him like that before, probably no one did. Not even his parents. Arthur was the first, and Travis had wronged him...

"Arthur---"

Travis carefully pulled himself out of Arthur's embrace and sat up. Arthur watched him back, a confused expression on his face.

"There's something...I want to talk about."

Arthur blinked, "What is it, Travis...?"

Travis felt his face turning hot. It was getting harder for him to breathe with each passing minute

"I think we shouldn't...see eachother from now on."

Just then, Arthur's eyes widened in shock.

"Travis...?" he said, "What...what are you saying?!"

"He's right..."

Arthur suddenly looked on verge of having a panic attack, his breathing loud and uneven.

"What do you mean...?" he wailed.

Travis squeezed his eyes shut in pain, the words were too hurtful.

"He said you should be protected. He was right..."

"I don't understand..."

"If there's someone who would hurt you, it's me."

Arthur shook his head, he grabbed Travis's arm tightly and squeezed it, "You're not thinking right, Travis. Why would you do it? You're a good person, and your past has nothing to do with it."

"Arthur...?" Travis started miserably, "If you know the truth, you won't be saying that again..."

Arthur waited quietly for Travis to continue. When Travis didn't speak, Arthur leaned in, his voice a whisper.

"What's the truth, Travis?"

Arthur, I'm sorry...

"The first time we met, it wasn't a coincidence...I planned it all."

Travis grimaced as the words left his mouth, his eyes downcast.

"You never left my mind after I first saw you. I started stalking you. I wanted to enter your life. So I planned everything. I paid the kids to take you to the alley so I could come and save you. I wanted you to look upto me. And you did."

Travis's fists balled tightly around his sides, his fingernails digging in his palm. "I wanted to win your trust, so I could have you. The only reason I did all this because I wanted to... touch you."

A surge of regret washed over Travis. He wanted to take his words back but he had already said enough. There was no turning back.

"When I learned my advances would scare you away, I slowed myself down. I waited for the moment for you to give yourself to me. That moment came last night...I tried to rape you, because you weren't ready then too. You were screaming for me to stop, but I couldn't. I lost control. Then...he stopped me. I'd have raped you if he didn't stop me on time."

Travis turned his body to face Arthur, still avoiding his stare. "So you need to go, Arthur. You can't be around me anymore. It's not safe for... "

Travis finally looked up and stopped. He couldn't even finish his sentence as he saw Arthur.

Arthur sat unmoving. His face had completely drained of colour, eyes bulged in horror.

"Arthur...?"

"But..." Arthur rasped in a dead voice, "you loved me..."

"I still love you, Arthur..."

Arthur shook his head slowly.

"No..." He repeated, "you don't love me..."

"That's not true, Arthur. I love you. I didn't realize it before. I have now. I love you more than anything else in this world. I want to keep you safe..."

"Liar..."

"Arthur, please listen to me..."

"LIAR!"

"Arthur, no!"

As Travis reached forward to grab Arthur by the shoulders, he immediately pushed him away with incredible force.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he screamed, a wild look in his green eyes. "DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME NOW!"

"Arthur!"

Arthur scrambled in the corner of the bed like a scared animal as Travis leaned in.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!"

He frantically started kicking each time Travis tried to approach him. Mustering up his strength, Travis dove forward and pinned Arthur's legs beneath his body. Arthur tried to claw at Travis's face. Travis grabbed his arms and pinned them to his side. Arthur turned his face away.

"GET OFF ME!"

"Arthur!" Travis cried, his face pressed hardly against Arthur's cheek. "I love you! I love you, Arthur!"

"LIAR! LIAR!"

"Arthur, please! Snap out of it!"

Travis cried out in intense pain as something sharp slashed against his wrist. He immediately let go of Arthur's arm and looked at his arm. There was a long gash around his wrist. Fresh blood started leaking out in volumes. Travis stared at it wide-eyed, dazed. His gaze shifted to Arthur who was cowering under him, the pocket knife covered with Travis's crimson blood was dangerously aimed at Travis's chest.

"Get off me now..." Arthur rasped menacingly, breathing hard.

Travis slowly moved away from the knife and carefully slided down Arthur's body. He stood up stifly and backed up as Arthur crawled off the bed too, the knife pointed in Travis's direction all the way. He backed up against the the wall.

"Don't come any closer..."

"Arthur..."

"DON'T SAY IT!" Arthur yelled at the top of his lungs, "DON'T YOU SAY MY NAME WITH YOU FUCKING MOUTH! MY GOD, I LET YOU TOUCH ME...I LET YOUR FILTHY HANDS TOUCH ME! HE WAS RIGHT! I SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED HIM WHEN HE HAD SAID YOU ONLY WANTED TO FUCK ME! I FUCKING BELIEVED YOU INSTEAD!"

"Arthur, listen to me! He..." Travis suddenly stopped when a thought hit him.

"WHAT?!" Arthur screamed.

Travis didn't reply. He let his hands drop by his sides and stood still, his eyes downcast.

A deadly silence lingered between them, which was broken by dripping sound of Travis's blood down his fingers on the floor. Arthur's eyes shot in the direction of the sound. He stared at the viscous liquid intently and the straighten up.

"If you ever try to meet me again..." Arthur breathed, "I swear I'll kill you."

Travis didn't move. Arthur moved slowly away from him, his each step careful with the knife pointed out. He kept backing away as he reached the front door. He fumbled with the knob a little before ending up finally opening it. Arthur quickly grabbed his clutch. He reached for his wig and jacket and hurriedly exited the door, his foot steps fading as he scurried away.

Travis finally looked up in the direction Arthur just left. His legs suddenly gave out under him as he dropped on the floor in pool of his blood.

Arthur had left him. Travis had just let his life leave through that door with him.  
  



	17. Chapter 17

Travis lay unmoving in his bed, drunk out of his wits. He barely ate, slept or left his apartment ever since Arthur had walked out of his life. It had been five days over, with each passing minute posing as an turmoil in itself for Travis. Arthur never called either. Travis wondered if he thought of him as he did constantly. The last conversation repeated feverishly in his mind. He remembered Arthur's horror stricken face when Travis revealed his murky intentions he had harbored, guilt consuming him.

His hallucinations were back, which was the worst of all. He often saw Arthur standing in the corner of the room in his clown make-up, his hair out of place. The same horrified stare plastered on his pale face. The image would appear whenever Travis tried to sleep. At first, Arthur seem to stand in the corner without moving a muscle, then his form would inch a little towards him each time Travis closed his eyes, until Arthur would be standing right above him by his bedside, staring down at him endlessly. Travis wouldn't dare to open his eyes after that, fearing that if he did, Arthur's horrified face would be the first thing he would see.

Alcohal blurred the visions, so he'd drink until he passed out. He knew in the back of his mind he couldn't keep on like that, but there was possibly no way out, at least for now. Arthur was gone already, but he had never really left Travis either. Arthur had become a part of him now, living in his memories. No matter how much Travis wanted to see Arthur for one last time and beg for his forgiveness, Travis believed he didn't deserve it, for how filthy his soul was, deserving more to suffer, as he made Arthur suffer.

Suddenly there was banging at the front door, the sound of which jolted Travis out of his stupor. He dragged himself off the bed and staggered towards the front door, his vision blurry.

"What...?"

No answer. Travis grunted as he fumbled with the lock grudgingly. He pulled open the door.

Arthur was standing at his doorstep in his brown hoodie, his hands tucked in his pockets. He looked up at Travis hopefully, but then he frowned. He wasn't wearing any clown make-up.

Travis smiled widely, "So...you're back again?"

Arthur didn't react.

Travis scratched his stubble he hadn't shaven for days, pretending to be thinking.

"I know..." he slurred, "you like watching me like this, don't you? Watching me suffer? Look at me. Isn't it enough for you already?!"

Arthur's frown deepened.

Travis eyed Arthur menacingly.

"You won't let go of me, would you...?" He shuffled closer to his still form. "Why won't you just disappear? Tell me..."

Arthur sneered. Travis suddenly grabbed him by the collar and brought him closer to his face. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut.

"Speak up, dammit!" Travis yelled, shaking him violently. "I can't take it anymore!"

Arthur opened his eyes, glaring this time.

Just then, Travis gasped as the realization hit him. He immediately dropped Arthur, his eyes wide.

"Arthur, is this really you?" he wailed happily, touching him frantically, feeling him. He cupped his pale face in his palms. "You're real...you came back to me!"

Arthur sighed heavily. He solemnly reached up and took of Travis's hands off his face.

"No,Travis. It's me."

"Oh..." Travis sobered up. He was having trouble focusing. "Why are you here..."

Arthur raised an eyebrow quizzically. He looked amused, "Aren't you going to let me in?"

Travis blinked, struggling to focus. He quietly stepped back, giving room for Arthur to walk through. Travis shut the door behind him and turned around. Arthur was standing in the middle of the room, casually looking around, his back facing Travis.

Arthur's presence made him feel at peace everytime, but this wasn't Arthur. It was a different kind of feeling with him which was hard to explain, kind of dangerous but electrifying, alerting enough.

Travis should've felt threatened by him showing up, but he didn't bother to think about it. It didn't matter to him anymore whether he lived or died.Travis quietly strode past him.

"So you're here to finish your job?" he grabbed the bottle of liquor and a glass from the coffee table. He poured himself the shiny liquid and place the bottle back. "Kill me?"

Arthur shrugged, "Don't jump to conclusions that fast, Travis. And besides..."

He pointed to Travis's heavily bandaged wrist, smirking.

"...you won't be needing me to do that. Arthur's enough for you already."

The taunt sounded infuriating enough, instead Travis found himself laughing. He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, shaking his head unbelievably.

"You and your jokes!"

Arthur grinned triumphantly, his eyes glowing. "They're good, right? I knew it."

Travis looked away, smirking. He sipped his glass.

Arthur's smile disappeared as quick as it came, replaced by a grim expression.

"How's your hand?"

Travis grunted, rolling his eyes. He took another sip of the drink.

Arthur narrowed his eyes, his voice strangely soft "You know you really shouldn't have told that to Arthur. If you stayed quiet, this wouldn't have happened."

"Why do you fucking care?!" Travis retorted, the vein in his forehead throbbing. "You wanted Arthur safe, didn't you? You got it. What do you want from me now?"

Arthur's jaw tightened. He lowered his eyes. "I never wanted it to go like that."

Travis glared back ruthlessly, his body tensed.

"There's something I wanted to know." Arthur continued.

Travis crossed his arms over his chest, waiting. The room around him was now spinning.

Arthur looked up, his eyes gentle. "Why didn't you tell him we slept together...?"

A frown appeared on Travis's forehead.

"What's the point of telling? He already knew enough I was perverted son of a..."

"That's not the truth." Arthur interrupted him firmly, a tincture of anger in his voice. He sighed in defeat, "I...seduced you, you know it. You could've defended yourself by putting it on me."

Travis raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. "Even if I did, you would've fed him lies."

"No, I wouldn't." Arthur answered truthfully. "I never lie. I'm just good at keeping stuff."

Travis looked away. He shook his head vaguely

"I'm not sure why I didn't tell him." he started, sounding distant. "Maybe I didn't want him to remember me as the worst of me..."

Arthur watched him silently.

"Also..." Travis added, his eyes meeting Arthur's. "He believed in you. The last thing I would've wanted was for him to loose his faith over everyone he ever trusted."

Arthur's face had gone pale, his eyes wide opened. He swallowed hard.

"Anyway, it's over now." Travis whispered painfully, pressing the glass to his lips and emptying it. He slightly wobbled when he reached for the bottle again. To his surprise, Arthur abruptly walked upto him and snatched the bottle out of his hands.

"Enough of that now."

"What the hell you think you're doing?!"

"What should be done right..." Arthur grumbled, "I'm here to make peace."

"What're you talking about?"

"I told you before, I'm the good guy."

"Stop playing games with me now!" Travis cried miserably, his eyes starting to water. He squeezed them shut.

Arthur's shook his head, his eyes dark and intense. "No games now."

Travis suddenly felt drained, it was hard for him now to stay on his feet. The familiar smell of cologne engulfed him as he leaned slightly in the person standing infront of him.

"Arthur..." Travis mumbled under his breath, recalling him.

Hot tears started to roll down his cheeks.

"Arthur..."

"Hey!" Arthur's voice.

Travis felt him tipping his face up by the chin "Look at me."

Reluctantly, Travis opened his eyes. Arthur's face was just a few inches apart of his own, his face dead serious.

"Don't give up on yourself." he whispered firmly, "Arthur needs you."

"But I'm a monster. He didn't want to see me again..."

Arthur lowered his eyes, his lips forming a tight line. He then looked up, his eyes blazing.

"Tomorrow at Arthur's work place before he starts his routine. Be there. Don't tell him I asked you to come. I'll take care of the rest."

Travis blinked in utter confusion, his lips quivering. "But..."

Arthur pressed his finger on Travis's mouth. "Please. Just do as I say. Trust me on this."

Travis didn't realize what he did next, he nodded quickly without thinking. Arthur smirked. He then carefully let go of Travis's chin and turned away. Travis watched him walk towards the front door and open it.

"Wait!"

Arthur stopped in the midair, he slightly looked over his shoulders.

"Why are you doing this...?" Travis moaned, "You didn't want me to touch him."

Arthur's temple twitched, his eyes downcast. "I still don't want you to touch him. But you looked out for me. Consider we're even now."

The door clicked shut behind him as he turned away and walked out of the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all. I want to thank you all for the kudos and comments. This is beyond my expectations, I'm truly grateful! I'm sorry for the delay in updates of the story because of my tough routine. But I promise I'm not going to abandon it. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the story by far. Thank you all again! :)
> 
> Updated(23/10/2020): The story will continue soon.


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